Out of the Void
by Nurse Betty Page
Summary: When two Doctors are locked into a trap in space and only one Tardis can emerge undamaged, the Twelfth and Tenth Doctors decide to work together to escape. But the plan goes wrong when the Tenth Doctor is injured - then Twelve must find the one person who can help to save Ten and preserve the timeline - but how will Clara react when she realises her Doctor still loves Rose Tyler?
1. Chapter 1

**Out of the Void**

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 **Summary**

 **When the Doctor and Clara encounter a strange void in space that seems to have life of its own, what they find inside it will at first surprise the Doctor - until he learns the true nature of the strange alien race who enjoy studying other life forms by causing emotional distress.**

 **The Doctor soon discovers his Tardis is not the only one to be drawn into the trap – the Tenth Doctors ship has also been drawn in. He then realises that he is faced with a dilemma – only _one_ Tardis can leave safely, putting the other at risk of life threatening damage.**

 **The two doctors must decide who should leave safety, and as the Tenth Doctor begs his other self to let him leave first - ensuring the safety of the time line - the Twelfth Doctor points out that his younger self is alone, whilst he has a passenger – Clara Oswald...**

 **With his thoughts resting on Clara's welfare, the Doctor makes a suggestion that they work together to escape – making the risk of leaving unpredictable and twice as dangerous. And after refusing to change his mind because it is the only way to ensure Clara's safety, both Doctors join forces and succeed in breaking out of the void trap.**

 **But while the Doctor succeeds in ensuring his own and Clara's safety, the Tenth Doctors Tardis is left battered and drifting in space with the Doctor unable to reach his other self through the communication system. When they board the other Tardis, they find the Tenth Doctor gravely injured – leaving the Doctor and Clara with no choice but to find him urgent medical assistance – or risk potentially disastrous alteration of the future time line.**

 **But after receiving emergency treatment, it is clear the Tenth Doctor's life and chance of recovery hangs in the balance - meaning the future of the time line is _still_ at risk. The Doctor then decides to fetch the one person who can help his other self in his time of need – but will it be enough to set the time line back on track, and how will Clara react when she realises the Doctor has never really stopped loving Rose Tyler?**

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 **AU. Pairings 12/Clara, 10/Rose**

 **Rated M**

 **Warnings : Heavy emotional themes, adult scenes and discussions, some bad language, some sexual and romantic content.**

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 **Disclaimer: I own nothing but my enjoyment of writing fan fiction!**

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Chapter 1

 _It had happened so fast._

One moment Clara had been standing beside the Doctor, as the Tardis slipped through space with ease as they talked about his past, and then, everything had changed...

"So when you say you love me, you mean you've felt this way before but not _quite_ like this?"

The doctor had been looking down at the console, feeling partly shy and partly awkward about his recent confession, and he smiled as he glanced at her.

"I've lived many lifetimes as you know and in this one _yes_ , Clara, I love you more than anyone who has gone before. Obviously, I've loved others when I had been in other lives..." he paused, blinking as he fixed his sky blue gaze on her, "Why do you have to ask such hard questions, Clara? You know I'm not the world's best at doing affection -"

"But you try."

As she said that, her eyes sparkled with warmth, and then playfulness crept into her voice, "You tried _very_ hard last night – _twice_. It was nice, too. "

Her words brought back a rush of images that warmed his blood and threatened to give him a sharp and urgent erection as he thought about her kisses, the taste of her and the way she had shuddered and tugged on his hair as he had buried his face between her legs, and the feel of their bodies together...he had wanted it to never end. It was everything he wanted and needed, to feel complete in her arms - and if he didn't stop thinking like that, he would have her all over again, here and now on the floor of the console - but he wanted to fly his Tardis, just for a while, to enjoy the beauty of space before he once again enjoyed the bliss of being naked and wrapped tight in the arms of his Clara.

"You don't have to mention sex right now, do you?"

She smiled playfully.

"You look a bit hot. #If you're getting too hot, maybe you should take something off..."

The Doctors face had warmed up with a flush as he laughed softly.

" _Stop it!"_

"But you're great in bed. And too modest to say it out loud."

"I'm okay I suppose..."

"But it _was_ good," she replied, and he knew she was still playing with him... Clara was playing with him for sure, enjoying the sight of him blushing, and he really didn't mind at all. She could toy with his mind, caress and play with his body - she could do anything she wanted to, because he loved her, and knowing she loved him too made all things possible - and it was wonderful, all of it was. He hadn't been this happy in years...

"I try my best," he replied with a hint of amusement in his voice as he adjusted some settings in the console, and all the time he was smiling.

"So am I, then?"

He looked at her again, his Clara, with her pretty but strong beauty seeming to shine from her even brighter since had first taken her to his bed and his twin hearts. Then he saw the questioning look in her eyes, and his smile faded as swiftly as the sparkle left his gaze.

"Are you what?"

The question had been pointless – he already knew what this was about...

"The love of your life? Doctor?" Clara frowned, and suddenly she looked worried.

"What did I say that was so wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like you don't want to answer the question?"

She sounded hurt. If they hadn't come so far and he didn't know her so well, he would have accused her of being a control freak who was demanding to know way too much. But he didn't say that, because they had come so far and because he didn't think of her like that now, instead he saw her as strong and fearless and unrelenting and beautiful with it, because he now saw her though the eyes of a lover.

"I told you, in this life you're the one for me, okay? Don't start digging Clara. My history is very long and its going to be a very deep and time consuming dig and no one wants to turn up old bones, do they?

She fell silent for a moment.

"So there was someone once -

"Does it matter?"

She shook her head

"Forget I said it. Let's just get on with _us,_ shall we?"

He had looked down at the console, studying some odd readings the Tardis had picked up.

"Good idea. _And by the way, her name was Rose. And it was too long ago to matter now._ "

She looked at him in surprise.

"And you and Rose, you had something as strong as we do?"

"Its not what I thought was," he murmured, looking to the Tardis screen as stars shone brightly.

Clara stepped closer.

"Sorry," she said quietly.

"Not me and Rose," he replied, "What the Tardis is picking up about something out there in space... I thought it was black hole but it's not reading like that. More like something _else_ with a shield around it."

And Clara looked at the screen to see a dark mass where no stars shone, it was pitch black, yawning wider by the second...

"Is it safe?"

"The Tardis shields can protect us, I think...I didn't know until I got this close...wait..." he paused to study the readings from the Tardis console. Then he looked to Clara as surprise registered in his eyes.

"There's something inside it! "

"Its alive?"

"If it is, I've never come across anything like this before... _Oh no_.."

The doctor began to frantically work the controls and for a moment Clara's gaze was fixed on his slender, black suited form as he darted about the console.

"What's wrong?"

He didn't even look up as he tried to avert disaster.

"Look at the screen. It's pulling us in!"

Clara gave a gasp as she took in the sight of the looming darkness as it rushed towards them, widening and deepening rapidly.

" _It's going to swallow us!"_ she yelled as the Tardis engines began to groan as the ship tried and failed to break free of the grip of the alien mass, and then the ship shuddered and they both grabbed at the console as the ship lurched left and light, fighting against the pull of the power that surrounded it,

The Doctor was pulling on a lever so hard his knuckles and turned as pale as his face as he tried in vain to pull back.

"The shields are compromised, this thing is squeezing at the space-time controls!" there was a look of panic in the Doctors eyes as he looked to Clara across the console as the ship lurched and the engines groaned again, "I don't know what this is! I don't know how to break free!"

And then the ship shuddered, and the engines fell silent as the Tardis landed.

 _That_ was how fast it had happened – one moment she had been talking of love and his past and the next, they were here – landed, but _not_ on solid ground. They both looked out in dismay at the sight of nothing but blackness as the Tardis hung frozen in the void in space...

* * *

For a moment, Clara stood there in silence as she looked out at nothing but darkness, and then she looked to the Doctor, who had a bewildered look in his eyes.

"It just manipulated my ship!" he said, and then he looked at the controls, tried again for a read out, "I'm detecting life - I cant get anything else because its blocking me...how can it do that? But this isn't some black hole with a life of its own – there's technology behind it. Which means it's smart to create an area of space to manipulate and claim as its own. "

He breathed a relieved sigh.

"This means there's a chance I can reason with them – it – whatever _it_ is..."

And then the screen was taken over, the void vanished as an image appeared on it, and they both looked in surprise to see a woman in a white flowing gown, her eyes were lilac and strange flowers adorned her dark flowing hair, the ends of it seemed to float as if in water as she looked at them thoughtfully and then began to speak:

"I am Empress, representing the Lesser Magdeine Vine – we are seeking to learn about other cultures, to research an ideal location for settlement."

"How did you manage to grab a chunk of space and turn it into a trap?" the Doctor asked sharply, all interest in this unknown species was gone now he had the measure of their intent – to choose a planet to conquer and rule...

"What are you?" she asked.

"Rapidly losing patience with _you_!" the Doctor snapped.

"What are you?" she repeated with no change in her tone.

"I think we'd better answer before she drives us mad with the broken record technique," Clara said, and she looked to Empress.

"I am Clara, and I'm human."

"And I'm the Doctor, a Timelord from planet called Gallifrey – good luck finding it, because I gave up long ago!" he said sharply.

She looked to Clara.

"Don't say it," the Doctor murmured, and Clara forced a smile.

"I'm from Gallifrey too... I don't know where it is either. We really can't find it."

And the Tardis shuddered, they stumbled together, Clara thankful for the Doctors arm around her to steady her.

"Keep her talking,"he said in a low voice as he gave her a hug, "That was her people losing grip on the internal systems. We cant break out yet but I'm working on it – I have part of the console back now. They're not _quite_ as clever as I thought."

And then he let go of her and stepped back, leaning against the console as his hand slid quickly and discreetly along a control panel. Then Clara was talking, and he set to work.

"What about you?" she asked the woman on the screen, "Is your planet dying? Is that why you want to relocate?"

"Our planet is already dead," Empress replied, "We need to find a new planet. One where we can establish a new home, where the inhabitants will be easy to control. I sense you are hiding something. You refuse to name your planet of origin. It differs from his... You are not afraid, why is that? I have the power to crush your ship."

"I'm not hiding anything," Clara replied, remembering his warning not to mention Earth, "And I'm not afraid because I believe in the Doctor."

Empress looked hard at her, and in that moment Clara shivered as her coldness seemed to reach through the screen.

"Your human species and his Timelord species are fascinating,"she remarked, "So much emotion. So much weakness. I shall find your planet one day, Clara. I know you are hiding its name from me...and Doctor, I sense _you_ are telling the truth."

He looked up from the console and glared at her.

"Here's some _more_ honesty: Let us go or I'll be forced to get _rough_ with your space manipulation device. I just hope your ship hiding behind it doesn't get crushed on the way back to your dead planet!"

Her expression remained blank and it only added to his anger as she spoke again.

"We intend to allow your release, once the test is complete. Your machine travels through time. We detected signals passed through the time stream indicting another of your kind was also able to be drawn in. I shall now leave you to decide who shall win the game."

The Doctor stared at her as the words sunk in

"Another of _my kind_? I don't think you understand what you're tampering with if you think you can find _another_ Timelord!"

"You and another are trapped in the void," she stated, "Only one ship will be able to leave without disaster. You must choose."

The Doctor had paled with shock as he thought about the _other_ of his kind, and considered all she had said.

"You expect me to _choose_ who survives this?" he said in a hushed voice.

Empress looked at him blankly.

"It is a recommended method of deciding the survival instinct within a race. Makes the choice for whom to conquer much simpler. I shall be watching, Doctor."

And then she was gone, and now through the screen, all they saw was starless dark – and now, there was something else out there too...

* * *

" _It can't be..."_ the Doctor said as he took in the sight of another Tardis, fixed in the void and unmistakably the version of the blue box he recalled from his Tenth life.

"Another Tardis?"Clara was saying to him, "Another version of _you_ got dragged into this? That's got to be a good thing right? I mean, two Doctors can easily handle this, can't they? "

As he turned his head and looked at her, his expression was grave as a troubled look clouded his eyes and he weighed up all the possibilities of the time line becoming disastrously affected if his other self didn't make it out alive.

"Doctor," Clara said again, "Please tell me another Tardis being here is a good thing."

And he wanted to agree with all of both of his hearts, but loved her too much to lie and give her false hope.

"No Clara it's not," he said honestly, "This is bad, it's _very_ bad..."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

As they stood together watching the other Tardis suspended in the blackness of the void, Clara looked to the Doctor with a worried expression.

"I don't like the way you said that. You said this was _bad_ like we might not get out of here. Why would you think that? "

He gave no answer as his gaze stayed fixed on the screen whilst he remained deep in thought.

"Doctor?"

She was worried, of course she was. But Clara had seen so much, so many monsters, been in so many situations, that she had simply come to the conclusion that the Doctor always won.

 _He feared this time, she could be wrong..._

"It's not as simple as it seems," he said as he turned his gaze from the other Tardis trapped in the darkness, "That other ship belongs to another version of me - my Tenth persona - me in a past life. And only one of us can get out safely. Think about the consequences if my past self dies trying to leave the void trap. Just take a moment, Clara. Think about what that would do to the time line."

She did think about it, and then she shook her head.

"But it's not as if he would die – he would simply regenerate into his next life."

"Yes, too early!" he exclaimed, "And so much would change just by that event. Time lines would be altered, the ripples that would be sent out through the galaxy could prove to be disastrous!"

Now Clara got it.

"So what are we going to do? You've got a plan, there must be a plan, you're the Doctor."

He paced away from the console, ran his long fingers though his silver hair and then turned back again as he made the only decision that seemed to be the next logical step to take.

"I'm opening up the communication channel," he said, "I need to speak to that other version of me."

* * *

The Doctor quickly worked a set of controls, sending a signal to the other Tardis as he switched the view from the console monitor to the main screen.

"I wonder why the other you didn't try to make contact first?" Clara remarked as she watched the screen flicker and then cover with static.

"Because he doesn't know my Tardis. He's waiting for me to make the first move. And I have no idea what he's going to make of this situation."

As he spoke he continued to work on the console, waiting for the Tardis to come up with possible means of escape.

Then the screen cleared, and Clara looked in surprise at the man in the other blue box – he was much younger than her Doctor, he wore a pinstripe suit and his dark silky hair was as brown as his eyes. Although he was troubled by the situation, he looked to the Doctor and then to Clara and flashed a smile that briefly warmed his gaze.

"Hello," he said, "I take it you're a future version of me."

"I'm the Twelfth," the Doctor replied, and the Tenth Doctor looked at him in surprise.

"Twelfth? Are you sure?"

"Long story," the Doctor replied, leaning on the console and sounding as weary as he looked, "Now, we have a situation on our hands and we need to make a choice."

"I know," Ten replied, "I'm really glad the species who constructed this thing don't have _quite_ as much control over us as they _think_ they do – my Tardis internal systems kicked back in a few minutes after the ship was sealed in the void. So we can work something out."

"Same here," the Doctor replied, "But now we have established a link, what comes next?"

His younger self paused for thought, and then his dark gaze shifted to the young woman who stood beside his older self.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Clara, I'm with him," she replied, indicating to the Doctor.

"Where's Rose?" the Doctor asked his other self, "Are you travelling alone?"

"Rose went home to see her family. I'm going back for her soon. I'm alone. And maybe you should come over to my Tardis, _both_ of you."

Clara looked to the Doctor confusion.

"What's he talking about? I don't understand?"

"He's proposing to break out of the void with one Tardis inside the other. Good idea in theory, but it won't work."

The Tenth Doctor had been listening intently.

"Why not?" he asked, "My ship can easily -"

"Your ship is my ship _two life times_ ago. With every regeneration the Tardis also evolves, hence the redecoration, the new designs... my current lifetime is a new start, everything is new... including the design and increased power of my ship. _And they knew that_. They calibrated the escape corridor to take that into account – meaning I could leave easily, or you could leave easily – but _not_ both together. I'm so glad we had nothing to offer them in a way of guidance back to our home planet, these people get off on watching situations like this – an easy way to decide the weaker of the species, makes choosing a planet to take over so much easier. "

The Tenth Doctor's eyes had clouded with worry.

"The escape corridor will let one of us through without incident. As soon as the trap springs apart, the void will simply expel the escaping vessel, temporarily knocking out power functions until it's forced out the other side. Which means its lights out all the way. But if a second vessel tried that, the walls would become unstable, warping as the ship was forced out – the person who takes the last ride out gets bounced around like a ball bearing in a pinball machine. And I really don't want that to happen to either of us."

The Doctor made more calculations and then looked back to the screen where he saw the younger version of himself awaiting his response.

"I have a better idea. You come over to us, leave your Tardis back in the void, we get out safely and then you recall your ship via the remote on board my vessel."

The Tenth Doctor's eyes widened in alarm.

"I could lose my Tardis if that went wrong! And you just said the escape tunnel won't tolerate the weight of one Tardis within another. That means it also won't tolerate passenger exchange. Think about it, these people who have us trapped want to make this about life and death. They want to force us to make a choice - my ship or yours."

The Doctor glanced at Clara, and then he looked back to the screen.

"You're alone. I have Clara with me. I can't risk her life."

The Tenth Doctor's dark eyes widened as he looked in alarm at his older self.

"And as much I as I want to work with you to save _all_ of us, I know the person who has to get out of this alive is me – or the time line could be altered beyond repair! There could be disaster all over the known universe throughout out the whole of time and space! And if this is about Clara, don't worry about her – if you disappear, she will simply never meet you, time will be altered. She'll be back safe on earth living her life never knowing who the Doctor is...at least, I hope it would turn out that way... you never know what can happen when you mess around with time...But I _think_ she'll be okay... "

Clara stepped forward.

"Excuse me? Do you really think I'd want that?"

The Tenth Doctor ran his fingers through his hair and gave a heavy sigh.

"Of course not," he replied, then looking to his older self, "But this is a situation where there can't be an easy answer. And unfortunately, I know as well as you do that I'm your past, Doctor. If I die now, everything changes. We can't risk the time line."

Then he looked downwards and the click of some buttons being pressed sounded through the communication link. There was the brief sound of an activated sonic screwdriver and then the Tenth Doctor looked back at them and smiled.

"At least our captors won't be listening in to our plans – I just traced the link they slipped into both our audio systems and cut if off."

The Doctor was busy working on calculations of his own.

"Good," he replied, then he hit another switch and looked up from the console.

"You need to get out of this to preserve the time line – agreed. But I have no intention of dying here or putting Clara at risk."

"Your ship stands a better chance than mine because it's slightly more advanced," Ten said to him, "So if you went last -"

"I am _NOT_ risking Clara's life!" the Doctor said angrily.

Then Clara stepped forward, casting a glance to the Doctor and then looking to his other self projected on the screen.

"Don't do this," she said, "I don't want either of you to fight over this because of me. I want the time line to be preserved. I knew the risks when I joined the Doctor, I _still_ accept those risks. The time line _has_ to come first."

And she looked to the man she loved, whose face had turned so pale his complexion seemed to almost match his greying hair as he looked back at her in disbelief,.

"No Clara, you can't say that. _Never_ say your life isn't important!"

"But isn't all of life important?" she replied, "We have to save the time line. I'll worry about me when I need to worry. Do what you have to do, okay?"

"No, it's _not_ okay!" he told her, "I can't risk your life!"

"You can, because you must," she said quietly, "I accept that. I can see there is no other way out of here. And if I die, I want the time line to be saved, because that saves everything _else_. You can't save one life and run the risk of sacrificing the future. You know that, you just don't want to face up to it."

"Excuse me, but we should decide _now_ and make a move," Ten reminded him.

The Doctor shook his head.

"I can't risk Clara's life. I won't do that."

"Then I propose we combine our fire power, burst the seal on the void like a bubble and then it's a straight run all the way out of the tunnel- while the walls start to warp and destabilise. We should get shields back on after five seconds. So that's both of us partly protected and getting out of here with a risk factor to one or both ships and occupants of -"

"Seventy five percent," the Doctor cut in, "I already worked out the odds." And he saw a flicker of alarm in Clara's eyes, but chose not to acknowledge it.

The Tenth Doctor nodded.

"So that's both our ships getting out and plunged in darkness while we get tossed about like ball bearings in a pinball machine."

"Not necessarily," his other self said darkly as grim resolve reflected in his pale eyes, "One of us _might_ come out of this unharmed."

The Tenth Doctor looked to him and then to Clara.

"Let's do it," he said, and wasted no time inputting the commands.

A light flashed on the Doctor's own console and Clara watched as he worked quickly, establishing a link.

"This should do the trick," he said, and then he glanced up at Clara and wished he had not, at that moment seen such a sharp flicker of worry in her eyes.

"Are you ready, Doctor?" he asked as his finger was poised to stab at a button.

"You bet I am!" his younger self replied.

The Doctor glanced to Clara.

"Hold on tight. It's going dark in here before we come out of the tunnel."

She was already gripping the console tightly as she nodded.

He looked back to the screen, his pale blue eyes meeting the soft, dark gaze of his younger self.

"Ready?"

"Do it," said Ten, and the Doctor hit the button.

* * *

The darkness of the void was lit up as fire power linked from both blue boxes, the streams crossing and touching and forming a column of light that hit the seal of the trap. Then it burst and both ships were forced out violently, shooting along a tunnel where the walls began to bend and buckle.

The lights went out.

Clara held on, the Doctor was still hanging on to the controls, ready to hit the power switch to bring the power back the moment they were free of the tunnel.

The Tardis slammed against a wall, bounced off and Clara hung on as the ship swayed violently, and suddenly the ship was out into brightly starlit space, and as she breathed out and relaxed her grip on the console, the sight of outer space had never felt so like home before.

"We made it!" Clara said, and then she laughed.

" _We made it!"_ she said again, and as the Doctor stood there looking to the screen, she flung her arms around him and hugged him tightly.

His arms remained at his side, and so she squeezed him tighter.

"Come on Doctor, I know you don't like hugs...just pretend we're in bed – hug me, we made it!"

 _But he didn't._

All trace of joy left Clara's eyes as she let go of him and stepped back. His gaze was still fixed on the view beyond the Tardis.

"We made it," she said again, "We did it, we got out, we're okay!"

He didn't look at her as he spoke, he was still looking out to space where another Tardis also turned in slow orbit while countless stars stars burned their white heat, glittering as if space were studded with them like a tiny billion night lights. The sight would have been beautiful if not for one thing...

"I know we're okay," he said in a hushed voice, "But he's _not_."

And Clara looked to the screen, and to the sight of the Tenth Doctors Tardis turning gracefully in space, its sides battered and scarred by the damage it had sustained.

"I guess one of us did get tossed about like a pinball," he said, and then he reached for a switch and opened the communications link.

"Doctor, can you hear me?"

Only the hiss of static replied.

"Doctor?" he said again, and then he tried the main screen, but only static snow covered it.

"All communications must be down," he said, and quickly put in some co ordinates.

"What can we do now?" Clara asked.

"We have to make sure he's okay," he told her, "Because until we know he's safe, the time line is still at risk."

"But you're still here," she reminded him, "You and me are still here, doesn't that mean it's all going to work out?"

He stuck to the vow he had made to himself whilst trapped in the void that he would not lie to her, and he met her gaze and spoke honestly:

"It means nothing, apart from the fact that he's not dead yet. The ship took a lot of damage. The shields were down for five seconds and if most of that damage occurred in that time, he's hurt. We need to get over there and find out what's happened."

And he threw a lever and there was a brief echo of Tardis engines, and then the ship landed inside the Tenth Doctor's Tardis.

* * *

As they reached the door, it was Clara who stepped out first, and as a cable jumped in the console room and sparks flew, she closed the door again.

"It's full of smoke, I think there's a fire...I know I saw a live cable sparking. It's a big one, too."

The Doctor went over to a panel beneath his console and drew out a small fire extinguisher.

"Watch out for those cables," he reminded her,"I can't fix them until I put the fire out."

Then he opened the door and led the way, as Clara followed and smoke that hung in the air like a haze made her cough.

As soon as he saw the flames flickering on a scorched area of the console, he used the extinguisher in three short bursts to kill the fire. Clara kept close to the wall as she edged her way around towards him, avoiding the cable that jumped and sparked like its length had taken on the likeness of a snake about to strike out.

Then he grabbed the Tenth Doctor's sonic screwdriver from where it lay on the floor and used it to kill the connection to the severed cable. Lights flickered and then came back on brightly, and the sparking ceased. He hit a button, she heard a hum, and the smoke was drawn slowly out of the room.

"Where is he?" said Clara as she looked about the battered ship.

"Give me a minute.." the Doctor replied, working the controls with ease as it all came back to him. It had been a couple of lifetimes since he had seen this version of the Tardis, but he still remembered how to work the console.

"That cable was a spare power line. I can fix that...the console needs some work but I'll do that later... Space-time controls are still working too. Most of the damage was external, a few trips through time should repair that...I can fix his Tardis, it's not too bad...but it certainly did get thrown about in that tunnel..."

Then he looked up from the controls and turned to Clara.

"We need to find him."

"I'll go and search," she said.

Then he looked to the doorway that led to the Tardis corridors, where he saw his younger self on his back with blood running beneath him as he lay motionless on the floor.

"No need to do that," he said grimly, "It must have been some impact to throw him that far..."

And Clara's eyes widened in shock as she turned around and saw the Tenth Doctor lying injured in the corridor.

* * *

Clara said nothing as she knelt beside the injured man, watching as the Doctor took off his black jacket and used it to cover him.

"This doesn't look good at all," he muttered.

Clara was still surprised he had taken off his own jacket to keep him warm like that, and as he had done so she had caught sight of the crimson lining that until now she had thought of as sexy. But all she could think now was that the crimson matched the blood that ran from a wound to the side of the Tenth Doctor's head, it had soaked his hair and his clothing and the floor beneath him and was still pooling rapidly.

"You need to hold something to that wound," he told her, "I'm going to get the Tardis to run a scan, see the extent of his injuries."

"Hold _what_ to his wound?I don't have anything on me -"

"How about your bra?" he snapped sarcastically, and then reached down and tugged at the fabric of the cardigan she wore over her blouse.

Clara took the cardigan off, saying nothing in retaliation as she carefully placed it beneath his head.

"And keep his head still," he told her as he got up, "I'll run the scan but I don't think he can recover from this without treatment. It does look bad."

Clara cautiously placed her hands either side of the Tenth Doctor's head, keeping him steady – although he was out so cold it was unlikely he would have moved anyway. Her fingers slid through hair soaked in blood and she tried not to think about that as she looked down at him.

"It's going to be okay," she said quietly as she hoped he could hear her, "The Doctor's fetching help."

And she looked through the doorway to the console room, where he was running a scan. Then he turned back to her.

"I'm taking him to Asponi Iyralla, it's an earth colony planet, distant future – they have a medical centre that will be equipped to handle this."

And he put in some landing co ordinates and then looked back at Clara.

"Keep him still," he warned her again, "This ship is _damaged_. A rough landing could finish him off. I've seen the scan. It's not good."

Then he threw a switch and the Tardis took off, and Clara carefully kept hold of the Tenth Doctor, keeping him steady and still as she thought of a future that could vanish in the blink of an eye if a bad landing was too much for his shattered body. She kept thinking about the possibility of the future being wiped out as she held him still and waited for the journey to be over, silently willing him to stay alive - because the safety of the time line and ultimately the fate of the universe all now depended on his survival...


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The Tardis had landed with a slight jolt, and as she kept the Tenth Doctor steady, Clara felt sure that maybe her Doctor should have warned her to watch out for her shattered nerves, because as she had felt that jolt she had caught her breath as her heart raced and she imagined the world around her fading out, time being rewritten in some terrible way...

 _But he had survived the landing._

And while she stayed with his injured younger self, the Doctor had gone to fetch help.

And now they sat in a white room with comfortable chairs and a wide window that looked out to a rolling hillside. The sky was blue and the sun shone brightly, in the distance cars shone silver in the sunshine as they sped down a motorway like gleaming blurs of light. This building was up on a hillside, below was a small town and just in the shadow of the hills, housing was being constructed. This was a town that was still growing, and the planet was much like earth – except that the Doctor had told her the people of this world had slightly different values to that of her native planet. Humans had populated this place for two hundred years now, and were still building, although there was much rural, unspoiled land that remained untouched.

As the Doctor sat beside her, he ran his hand down the sleeve of his jacket and gave a sigh.

"A couple of bloodstains - that will wash out... it could be some time before we hear any news. I'm sure it will be good when we do."

"I hope so," Clara said quietly, her thoughts still on the Tenth Doctor and how important it was that he survived and preserved the time line.

The Doctor placed his hand on her knee, just above the spot where her hemline ended and gave her a gentle squeeze.

"Soon, he will be recovering, and by then I'll have his Tardis fixed. Then we can be on our way."

"I hope you're right," she replied, thinking about the way his other self had been rushed into the emergency room, still bleeding as he was given oxygen. It had looked about as bad as it could get...

Then the Doctor spoke up again.

"Funny place, this planet... The first settlers kind of set the standard for all who followed, you see. The first investors were a chain of fashion and cosmetics empires. The result? Everyone is obsessed with fashion and beauty and perfection. Forget talking about the state of the universe or the latest current affairs – here the trend is to rave about the latest best selling lipstick or cologne."

"I wondered why everyone looks so well groomed...and some of them are a bit over the top," she replied, recalling how the female surgeon in charge of the Tenth Doctor's treatment had been caked in heavy make up and wore a skirt that came up to her thighs, it was only because her white coat had been open that Clara had realised she had been wearing anything under it at all...

"Some of the ladies here a very glamorous," he added, "I was a bit of a ladies man back in my Tenth life. When he wakes up to all this, he's going to love it."

"If he wakes up," she replied.

"I'm sure he'll be just fine. And we shouldn't wait around any longer than we have to, I want to get that Tardis fixed for him."

"We should wait a bit longer."

"I'd rather keep busy."

She saw a flicker of anxiety in his eyes.

"You _are_ worried about him."

"A bit, but I have things to be getting on with."

"And you can wait to do those things until he's out of surgery."

He nodded.

"Of course. I'm sure they won't be with him much longer, he's probably out of danger by now."

Then the woman in the white coat and the barely there skirt walked up the corridor towards them.

"I hope she's bringing good news," Clara said as she and the Doctor stood up.

"I hope so too," he replied, not wanting to think about what this would do the the time line if the news was bad...

* * *

"The Doctor is out of surgery," the woman informed them, "He had an injury deep in the brain that was complicated to reach but I used a minimally invasive procedure to limit the damage. He is still critical and it might be a few hours before he shows signs of waking. _If_ he wakes up. There are no guarantees of anything certain at this time."

And the Doctor, who could not help but be drawn to the sight of her breasts clutched tightly in a sheer lace bra beneath her flimsy top, blinked and dragged his gaze to her face, where her eyes were framed with spidery lashes and her lips shone ruby red, painted to perfection.

"You're not sure if he's going to wake up?"

She shook her head, and the dazzling fair streaks in her honey gold hair caught on sunlight that streamed in through the window.

"If he wakes, he's looking at a long recovery. I can't even estimate what that recovery will be like. Only time will tell. But he's survived so far...he must be very strong and determined. And he's a very attractive man..."she smiled at Clara,"It's such a shame he's so badly hurt. If he had settled here on this planet, he would have fitted right in. My sister could have got him a job working for an agency, he looks like he belongs on a magazine cover..." and she paused, glancing to Clara, "Would you like to see your boyfriend alone, or is your Dad coming with you?"

Clara stared at her.

"No, I'm not with _him_ -"

The Doctor stepped forward and smiled, holding back his annoyance at her mistake.

"She is with me. I'm _not_ her Dad. And your patient the Doctor is a relative of mine."

Her spidery-framed eyes widened.

"Oh, I see... please come with me, you can see him now."

And she walked off, taking tiny steps in high heeled shoes, and the Doctor and Clara followed. As they headed towards the room where his Tenth self was recovering from surgery, he glanced at Clara and indicated to the woman's stilettos.

"Do you think she wore those in theatre?" he wondered.

"Nothing would surprise me about _this_ world!" Clara replied.

* * *

As they reached the closed door, the woman paused and turned back to Clara.

"It's never nice when someone ends up like this," she said kindly, "And I am sorry there is no more my people can do - your friend may never make a full recovery from this. The best we could do was save his life. We have no recovery plans for _damaged_ people."

The Doctor stared at her.

"Are you saying he could be like this forever?"

"There are no guarantees," she told him, "But given the damage that had to be repaired, a full recovery would take a while and seems doubtful at this time. Would you like to take him with you when he stabilises, or would you like me to arrange a place for him at a full time care facility?"

The Doctor's eyes flashed with anger, but he held it back.

"He will be coming with us when he is stable," he replied, "He's _definitely_ coming with us."

"Too right he is," Clara added, "Have you people never heard of rehabilitation? What do you do, just write people off and shove them out of sight?"

The woman looked at her kindly.

"We don't show off disability on this planet," she told her, "You may find this hard to understand, but it is our way. Even one as attractive as your friend would not be accepted here with brain damage."

Clara felt her temper spike sharply as she thought about slapping the woman, but then the woman reached into the pocket of her white coat and smiled as she handed something to her.

"I hope this cheers you up, dear. It's fifty percent off the new summer shades range of lipstick by Urban Woman. You _must_ know how elusive those colours are! I was saving it for myself, but seeing you so sad - and noticing you could do with a splash of colour, I thought I'd make this generous gift."

"Thanks," Clara said flatly as she looked at her and wondered how one who seemed so shallow could have any understanding of what the real meaning of compassion was, and as the woman said she would leave them to visit their friend.

As she walked away, Clara looked at the voucher in disbelief and then back to the Doctor.

"This place is full of lunatics!" she exclaimed, "We need to get him out of here as soon as he's well enough to be moved!"

"They're not so bad, Clara," he replied, "Their medical advances originally stemmed from their desire to further their ability to enhance beauty, but with those advances came more practical ones too. That's why I brought him here – also because they use minimal invasive techniques. I remember I was very proud of my looks back then, I wouldn't have wanted anything to wreck what I saw in the mirror, even for a life saving procedure."

"Are you sure _you_ don't belong on this planet?" she said in surprise.

"Definitely not. I'm _very_ sure about that," he told her, and then he opened the door and walked into the room, and Clara followed.

* * *

The Doctor stood at the bedside of his Tenth self and watched as he slept deeply. He was still breathing on oxygen, and the wound to the side of his head had been sealed. He noticed fresh bruising and a small puncture wound just above his temple that had been artificially sealed. He looked pale and did not move or stir as he breathed steadily, and a tube fed clear liquid into his arm.

"I don't like this planet,"Clara said quietly, "And I don't care what you say about how their culture came about – to me, they are superficial and uncaring. How soon can we get him out of here? And where can we take him?"

"I've already worked something out," he replied, "We'll take him back to Earth. I have a cottage by a lake out in the countryside. He can spend some time there, long enough to get over this as well as he can. We will stay with him, at least until he's well enough to leave in his own Tardis. Then he can go back to his own time and place and there won't be a break in the time line – at least, not one that will cause any significant damage."

And then the Tenth Doctor breathed harder on the oxygen and slowly opened his eyes, looking to the wall.

"Doctor?" said Clara, "Can you see me?"

And he slowly blinked, his gaze still fixed on the wall.

She took hold of his hand.

"Come on, let me know you're still in there..."

He took another breath and still looked to the wall as he slowly blinked again.

The Doctor stepped closer, looking down at his unresponsive other self as he felt a flicker of worry -if he was not going to recover from this, if he was stuck like this forever...

No, he couldn't even _think_ about that possibility – it would mean he would be trapped in this crippled body for centuries, and then the time line definitely would be affected, and the result would be disastrous...

"You have to come back from this," he said to him, "Doctor, think of the time line. Can you hear me?"

His younger self turned his head slightly, struggling to focus on his other self who looked down at him. He heard him speak, but could not find a way to answer.

"We made it out of the tunnel," the Doctor explained, "We did it your way, we both took a chance. And...my advanced ship did good. Yours took some damage. The odds were always against the last one out. And it shouldn't have been you. I'm _so_ sorry..."

Now his other self was focusing on him.

"You understand what's happened?" he asked, "You were injured when the Tardis broke out of the void trap. You had a head injury. And it's serious, but you just need some time, and you'll get over this... I'm going to help you get over this. Did you get all of that? Do you understand?"  
And the Tenth Doctor closed his eyes and then he gave Clara's hand a weak squeeze as a tear ran from his eye. She brushed it away and as his grip relaxed, she slipped her hand away and watched as he slipped back into a deep sleep, then she spoke in a whisper to the Doctor.

"I don't think he's going to recover. This is as bad as it can get."

"And he's me in another lifetime and I'm not giving up on another version of myself," the Doctor told her, "Let's leave him to rest. I'll get the Tardis fixed up for him and by then he'll be stronger and we can get him out of here."

"Good plan," Clara replied, and she followed the Doctor out of the room, pausing to look back at the man in the bed who had suffered such terrible injuries. She felt bad about leaving him here alone, but the Doctor was right, he needed to rest - and until he was well enough to leave, there was nothing more they could do for him except to repair his damaged Tardis...

* * *

Clara spent the next few days with the Doctor while he worked on the other Doctor's Tardis. He spent long hours working on it and barely spoke to her, and often Clara would go to bed early, alone, in their Tardis within a Tardis, and wake up alone, too. She wondered about the distance that had suddenly grown between them, and then she wondered why she was thinking they had grown apart – since when? It made sense that he would want to help his other self, _why_ should she resent that?

She didn't, she told herself that firmly. It would be just plain spiteful for her to resent the time he was spending repairing the ship that belonged to his Tenth self, when that other version of him was alone in a hospital, with what seemed like a very long and difficult recovery ahead of him. Of course she didn't resent him for wanting to help...

But he felt so distant from her, and _that_ was worrying...

* * *

The Doctor was in the console room, on the floor with a panel off, he was on his back and working under the console with the Tenth Doctor's sonic screwdriver, and when she walked over to join him, she stood over him and smiled down as he looked up at her and saw right up her skirt.

His blue eyes widened in surprise and then he smiled.

"What can I do for you, _Miss No Knickers_?" he asked playfully.

And she slid down, sitting on him, giving him no chance to move.

"So you _have_ missed me, then."

"Clara, of course I've missed you – oh no, not yet,..." he gave a gasp as she unbuckled his belt and tugged at his zip. She was freeing his erection so quickly, and he was growing harder at her touch...

"Just let me finish fixing this connection."

"No!" she said playfully, and he laughed, and then he gasped and then he dropped the screwdriver and reached for her.

"You naughty little minx...come here..."

As she kissed him, he felt her draw him in, deep into her body, and the thrust he responded with made him moan as he ached to drive into her harder and deeper. But Clara took control, and that was quite all right, because he was on his back, on the floor in another Doctors console room, and his lover had missed him these long hours. The feel of her warm and wet and holding him there, the way she rode him, it was all too much.

" _Oh Clara!"_ he said sharply, gasping as he grabbed at her hips and ground against her, shoving it deep, throbbing so hard it was a pleasure that hurt the both of them. She was moaning as he shot the last of his load. And then she released him, sliding off and lying beside him, turning on her side as she lay there with her skirt about her hips as she looked into his eyes.

"Yes, I have missed you," she told him, "And that's okay because I understand."

Then she fell silent as she smiled at him and he smiled too, but then his smile faded as he lay beside her, just about to lost the glow from their love making – and fearing that glow would cool for a long while after he explained what he had decided to do...

"I need to talk to you – about the other Doctor." And he got up from the floor and paused to tidy his clothing.

Clara got up too, pulled down her skirt and ran her fingers through her hair. The Doctor pulled up his zip and buckled his belt and then they turned to each other, framed by the glow of the Tenth Doctor's repaired console room.

"What do you want to talk about?" she asked him.

He hesitated.

"It's not difficult...I must be imagining you will think it is, of course you won't...it's about what happens when we go back to Earth, I've been calling the hospital every day and there's no good news on my other self except to say he's stable and conscious - but unfortunately he's not very responsive. I think it's going to be a real struggle for him to get over this."

"I know that, and we agreed to help him with it," Clara replied.

The Doctor hesitated again.

Now Clara was worried, he saw it in her eyes,and it made explaining the rest all the more difficult.

"So come on, tell me the rest, I'm waiting," she said, and fixed him with a look that absolutely promised she would not let up until he told her everything.

"Okay..." the Doctor gave a sigh, paused again, ran his fingers through his hair as he looked absently about the room, and then he met her gaze once more.

"I know him better than anyone. I used to _be_ him. I know who he needs close to him to get him through this."

"Yes,I get it. No one could be better than you, because you're the future version of him! You know him, you've been him, you can _help_ him -"

"Clara please, hear me out...I'm bringing someone else with us. The person he _really_ needs at this difficult time."

She frowned.

"Who is it?" she asked.

As he looked at her, he hoped she hadn't spotted a flash of guilt in his eyes, it was there and then it was gone as he felt an ache for the old days in his twin hearts, an ache that made him feel ashamed because his other self was in trouble, was suffering, and needed her so very much. _He had no right to ache for the past - and besides, he had Clara now..._ But he still felt guilty at the thought of looking into her eyes and feeling a warm rush of love as _her_ face lit up in a radiant smile.

 _That was always how he remembered her..._

"I asked you a question," Clara said, " _Stop_ stalling! Who are you bringing with us?"

He drew in a deep breath, ready for the possible fallout his answer could bring.

"His lover," he replied, "I'm going back to the past and fetching her because he needs her. _I'm going back for Rose Tyler_."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Clara had said nothing against his idea.

She had simply nodded and agreed that it would probably be for the best. But as he had then said now was as good a time as any to go back for her, she had wondered as they flew through time and space, why she felt so uneasy about Rose. It had to be something to do with the look in his eyes...

 _Or was she imagining that?_

 _No...she was sure it wasn't in her head._

 _She knew she could be possessive, even if she did it quietly, it was part of her need to be in control – because her love for him was like that, it was so deep, it was so precious, she didn't want anyone else coming close to making a dent in that._

 _And why should she?_

 _Why would Rose want her Doctor?_

 _She wouldn't, because the Tenth Doctor was nothing like him at all._

 _Or would she?_

 _Maybe she would._

 _No._

 _She had to stop this, it was making her guts twist up like she had a bellyful of snakes._

 _It was insecurity biting hard, and she knew it..._

Clara said nothing as the Tardis landed, and when the Doctor said he knew where she would be, she still said nothing, simply listening, partly wondering why she thought she heard such tension in his voice, and partly wondering why she was becoming so jealous and insecure when she had no reason to be...

* * *

They went up to her floor and then walked towards the flat where Rose lived with her mother.

"I remember this place like it was yesterday," the Doctor said, "It's funny how coming back to a certain time and place can make everything rush back at me so vividly!" and he laughed softly, but then saw the look in her eyes and stopped laughing, because that look was pure daggers.

"What?I didn't mean it like _that_."

"Like what?" Clara asked.

"You know what I mean. "

He stopped walking, took a glance towards her front door and then looked into Clara's eyes.

"Don't think for one moment I'm still in love with her. I'm not. I love you. I'm _me_ now, I'm a different guy to the one she knows as the Doctor. She's not even like you, she's completely different to you, she was _his_ true love – and you're mine."

Clara held him in her gaze for a moment, and in that moment he vowed never, ever to tell her how one look from her had the power to freeze a Timelord in his tracks.

Then she smiled, and he felt relieved.

"I know that, stop worrying so much," she replied,and then they turned back and walked towards the front door, as he felt tension he didn't dare show in front of Clara begin to threaten to cripple him with jangling nerves as he prepared to knock on the door of his old flame.

When they reached the door he hesitated, and Clara glanced at him, feeling that doubt creeping up on her again. He had just told her how much he loved her, and yet...No, she _had_ to stop doubting him, because it was driving her crazy...

"Why are you hesitating?" she asked.

"I'm not. I'm gathering my thoughts. This won't be easy news to break. She saw him a week ago, when he left her here to catch up with her mother for a while. She's expecting him to pick her up in two week's time. At this point in the time line they were happy, they were in love, everything was okay. She's not strong like you. She's brave, but not strong, not emotionally, not when it comes to him... Not when it comes to dealing with something like _this_. You don't know how much she loves him. This will hit her hard."

" _Then you'd better hurry up and get it over with,"_ Clara replied, and as he knocked on the door, she felt like she ought to have kicked herself for sounding so harsh.

* * *

The door opened.

The Doctor looked at Rose, whose hair was damp and smelling of the shower, as she stood there in the open doorway with a towel wrapped about her body. He had expected to be drawn to the sight of her, to feel his hearts race at the memory of her touch – and perhaps that would happen later on, but not yet, not when he had such bad news to break and he could already see those tears that would form in her beautiful eyes the minute she learned the reason for his visit...

"Who are you?" Rose said, looking at the couple who stood on the doorstep.

"I'm the Doctor," he replied, "Not _your_ Doctor - a future version of him. I encountered your Doctor on his travels...and we need to talk to you about something."

A look of confusion flickered in her eyes as Rose looked at the tall, grey-haired man who was on the rugged side of handsome and looked good for his age...This was the Doctor in a future lifetime?

Then the woman who stood beside him spoke up.

"And I'm Clara Oswald, his companion," she added. "Please, can we come in, Rose? We really need to talk to you."

Rose nodded, opened the door wider and stepped back, and they went inside.

"What's this about?" she asked as she closed the front door, "Is he in trouble?"

And the Doctor and Clara exchanged a glance.

A flicker of panic registered in her eyes, and then it sounded in her voice as Rose spoke again.

"Where is he? What's happened to him? I need to know if he's okay!"

"He's been involved in an accident and he needs your help -"

"Gimme a sec, okay? I've just got out the shower...Let me put something on...wait there!"

Then she was gone, darting into her bedroom and closing the door behind her.

"Give her a minute," the Doctor said quietly, "I'm going to make her some tea...bring her through to the kitchen,I can explain, she can have her cry and then we can leave."

"Wow, you _do_ know her well," she replied, and he shot her a hurt look.

"I remember," he reminded her, "That's all."

And then he went up the hallway towards the kitchen, while Clara waited for Rose to come out of the bedroom.

* * *

By the time the Doctor had set the tea on the table, and had taken a moment to watch the steam rise and try hard not to think about Rose sipping from it, which would lead to other thoughts of her soft lips, he heard them talking as they neared the doorway.

"What _is_ this about?" Rose demanded.

"It's better if the Doctor explains," Clara replied, and the sound of her voice made him feel guilty for remembering how it had felt to be kissed by Rose.

Then he thought of his Tenth self, far away and seriously hurt, and then he hated himself for letting his mind wander in the first place.

All those thoughts were dashed aside as they entered the room. Rose had dried her hair, she was wearing jeans and a fitted top that made the most of her curves, but all he could think about was how hard it would be to break the news to her. He had never imagined that at some point in a future life,

he would travel back in time to catch her alone just to make her cry...

"Sit down, Rose," he said quietly,and he caught a flicker of confusion in her eyes, then she looked to Clara and back to him and sat heavily at the table as worry clouded deeper in her eyes.

"Oh no, this is bad news...he hasn't regenerated, has he? Please tell me it hasn't happened again! He's not...not _you_ , I mean, you said you're a future version of him..but not right now, not yet -"

"No Rose, he's still the man you know and love."

The Doctor sat down at the table with her, and Clara stood there watching, and as the Doctor reached over and took hold of her hands, she felt a sting of jealousy that she was sure had to be inappropriate – because the Doctor was just being kind. He was just trying to help. Of course it was, it couldn't be anything else...

"Please let me explain," the Doctor continued, "This is bad news but he's not dead. He's hurt."

Rose breathed out in relief to know her lover still lived, but as she looked into his eyes, fear reflected in her gaze.

"It's bad, isn't it?I know I'm right...Why else would _you_ be here?"

"Just let me explain," he said, "And please try and stay calm. I made you some tea, just like I used to."

And he smiled she did too briefly, and in that moment they made that connection, neither looked at Clara to spot the green eyed monster that had stung deeply at that moment...

Then the Doctor let go of her hands.

"Go on," he said to her, indicating to the mug, "Drink it. "

She sipped the tea and then she managed another smile, but it quickly faded.

"Now I know it's you... I mean, a future you. But I want to know about _my_ Doctor. What's happened to him?"

Now she was ready to listen.

"My Tardis was dragged into a trap in space. He was travelling through a nearby time stream and the aliens who had us picked up on the signature as identical and pulled in your Doctor's Tardis too. It took a combined effort to get out,and we knew one of us would come off this worse than the other. He got the short straw. I blame myself. It was his idea for us to make the break for freedom together. It increased the risk but meant we didn't know who would get out unharmed...But my Tardis is further evolved than his. It's much tougher. I should have let him go first and taken my chances as the walls collapsed. I'll always regret not doing that."

"What's happened to him?" Rose's eyes were clouded with worry.

The Doctor gave a heavy sigh.

"He was thrown about inside the ship as it went through the tunnel - he had a serious head injury. We took him to a planet where it could best be treated but the injury was deep in the brain. He's stable now and conscious but he's not showing any sign of improvement yet..."

Tears filled her eyes, and then she gave a sob, and he got up and stepped closer and held her tightly as she wept.

"It's going to be okay," he said, "I think he's going to recover – at least, as best he can. I'm taking him away for a while to a cottage in the country here on Earth, me and Clara want to help all we can. And that's why I came to fetch you, because he needs you more than anyone. You're the one who can get him through this."

She gave another sob and then managed to pull herself together, keeping her thoughts fixed on the man she loved as she let go of him and wiped her eyes.

"Yes," she said to him, "You're right, of course he needs me...is he properly awake? Has he asked for me?"

"He hasn't said anything," he told her, "Not yet. It's going to take time."

Rose had turned pale.

She got up and blinked away tears.

"I'll just pack a bag and leave a note for my mum," she said, "And then I'll be ready to leave."

As she walked out of the room, Clara looked into the eyes of her lover. All of a sudden, the Doctor looked weary.

"Was it really that hard to tell her?" she asked.

He nodded.

"It was hard see her break down like that. I knew she would, because she loves him."

"I can see that," she agreed.

"Him, _not_ me," he added, and Clara silently questioned his reason for making such emphasis on that fact in the first place...

It was clear he had a reason to keep on reminding her that he was not in love with Rose Tyler. The only reason she could think of was one she didn't want to linger on :

Oh God no, maybe he actually _was_ still in love with her...

* * *

The journey back was a difficult one for Clara.

Rose had looked around the Tardis and then to the other Tardis within the console room.

"That one's mine," he had said, "I'm flying your boyfriend's ship because I've just fixed it. I want to be sure all the functions are working. I'll need to fly it to earth, too, and leave it there until he's well enough to have it back."

Then he had started the engine and the Tardis had taken flight.

Clara had watched as Rose stood beside him and talked some more, and she watched the look in her eyes but saw no lingering glances from Rose – and why should she? Her love was firmly with his Tenth incarnation, of _course_ she wouldn't want this older man who was _nothing_ like him...

But all the same, she watched her - and then she watched him, and wondered whether the lingering looks he cast when Rose was not looking was out of a sense of nostalgia or something else.

 _And then she felt sick and wished she could stop the paranoia..._

* * *

When they arrived back on the planet and landed the Tardis on the hillside near the hospital, the mood changed as Rose grew tearful again and the Doctor hesitated, then briefly hugged her and quickly let go.

"He's going to be fine, we will all make sure of that," he reminded her, "And at the end of the day, I'm still here - so we know he's not going to die. I think it's safe to say as long as he recovers the future of the time line won't be affected by this."

"I hadn't thought of that," Rose replied, and then she sniffed and wiped her eyes, and as they stepped outside, she paused to take in a deep breath.

"I hope I don't look a mess. I don't want to walk in there looking like I'm sobbing, that would be really bad - he needs me smiling, I know he needs me happy. If he sees me crying he's going to think there's no hope and then...no, I _can't_ be like that."

"It's probably for the best to be strong," the Doctor replied as they walked down the hillside, "But I don't know how tough this will get. Don't bottle it up. Cry if you need to, I'm always here to listen."

They exchanged a glance. And in that glance, Clara caught the look in the Doctor's eyes and it came as a shock. It was there and then it was gone - a little too much warmth, perhaps? Something more than fond but distant memories rushing back at him?

"Thanks," Rose said, and then they carried on walking down the hillside, as Clara followed on, watching and worrying as she wondered if there actually was a very real reason to suspect she might be right about the Doctor and his feelings for Rose. Clearly, the flame had ever quite gone out – at least, not for him...

* * *

As they walked up the corridor towards the Doctor's room, Rose spoke up again.

"I keep thinking, it's crazy, he can't be hurt, not bad, he just can't..."

And her eyes filled with tears and she drew in a breath, blinked them away and looked at Clara.

"I really love him," she said, and at that moment Clara truly disliked herself for being _so_ relieved for that reassurance, at a time when Rose was weeping for the man she loved, who was clearly not _her_ Doctor...

"I'm sure it's going to be okay," she said kindly, "Like the Doctor said, he used to be him – he knows him better than anyone. He knows you're the one he needs the most. I'm sure seeing you will do him good."

"Even if it doesn't," Rose said, "I'm not giving up on him. I know what he needs, he needs to get out of here, he needs some time to get over what's happened. He needs to be with me."

Then she paused at his door to wipe her eyes again, and the Doctor opened the door and then they went inside.

Clara stood back, watching and feeling guilty all over again as she turned over all she had assumed on the way to the hospital - Rose had walked over to the Tenth Doctor's bedside, and then stifled another sob, before tenderly stroking his hair and speaking softly to him. And the Doctor had turned away, leaving her to be alone with him, and walked out of the room with Clara.

"Sorry," he said as he closed the door quietly behind him,"I know it might have seemed odd to you, the way I kept looking at her - but I don't fancy her, I don't love her, it's just strange for me to go back to someone from my past, who was so long ago in another lifetime. A different kind of time travel for the traveller, if you see what I mean. Like seeing a ghost."

Clara nodded.

"I understand," she said to him, and silently hoped she really did understand that his words had been truthful, because that doubt was nagging at her all over again, and she hated it.

The Doctor took her by the hand and led her over to a seating area, and then they sat down together.

"I can't wait until this is over," he confessed, "I just want to be back to you and me, no echoes of my past, just us and my Tardis."

"And running away from monsters?" she said with a smile.

He chuckled.

"I prefer running _after_ them," he replied, and as he smiled too, for now, her doubts were forgotten...

* * *

As Rose sat at the Tenth Doctors bedside and watched him sleeping, she saw a fading scar above his temple, but that was the only sign to indicate there was anything wrong with him at all - apart from a closed scar she had seen hidden beneath his hair when she had run her hand over it. He had no terrible wounds, not that she could see...He wasn't on oxygen, had no machines or tubes attached to his body, he was just sleeping, and he still looked like the man who she knew and loved so deeply...

"Come on, Doctor," she said softly,"It's me,I've come a long way to see you. Please wake up, just open your eyes and look at me."

She took hold of his hand and gently rubbed the back of it.

"Just wake up, I'm here for you. I'm waiting for you to wake up."

Her words had stirred him from a deep sleep. The Doctor had thought he had heard Rose Tyler speaking to him, but then he had remembered something about leaving her at home to see her family - it was vague, everything felt vague and hard to connect with.

He opened his eyes, and then surprise registered in his dark gaze as he saw her at his bedside. He felt her stroke the back of his hand and he caught her hand in his grip and managed to give it a squeeze.

" _Rose?"_ he whispered, and then he wondered why she started to cry.

* * *

The Doctor and Clara were still in the seating area talking when the door opened and Rose looked out. She had tears of joy shining in her eyes as she told them the good news.

"He's talking," she said,"He just said my name!"

And as the Doctor and Clara exchanged a glance,he smiled as he felt sure things were looking up at last.

"Maybe we can get him out of here sooner than we thought," he said as he got up from his seat. Clara got up too and they walked together to the open doorway.

"He's talking," she said again, "And he tried to get up but I had to stop him- " then she lowered her voice "He's a bit confused, he's struggling with it, but he's talking. I think he's going to be okay – or at least, a lot better than we first thought..."

" _Rose?"_

She turned back to him as he called her name,and Clara and the Doctor stepped into the room,watching as he struggled and managed to pull himself up against high pillows. He blinked away tears as she returned to his bedside,and as she took his hand, he gripped it tightly, and his hand shook from the effort of doing so.

"Don't..." he said, struggling to find the right words, " _Don't_ leave me...not here...they don't talk to me...they just... _leave_ me on my own..."

And a tear ran down his face.

"That won't happen again," Rose promised him,and then she looked angrily towards the Doctor and Clara.

"He's not getting proper care in here? _Why?_ "

"It's the culture of the planet," the doctor explained, "Brilliant surgical techniques but an obsession with perfection means they shun those who are deemed to be damaged. That's why we need to get him out of here soon."

As Rose comforted her lover, anger sparked in her eyes.

"Too bleedin' right he's getting out of here!" she said sharply, "He's leaving now, with us!"

And then as the Tenth Doctor gave another sob - this time out of relief- he rested his head on her shoulder as he wished he could work through the fog in his mind to find the words to thank her. But what she said next was all he needed to hear.

"Its okay now," Rose promised softy as she placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, "Don't cry, Doctor, _I'm_ going to look after you now – me, the other Doctor and Clara. We're leaving this place... And I'm staying with you forever, I'm not letting you out of my sight again."

Then as she put her arm around him and looked to the Doctor and Clara, as she spoke again and her eyes blazed with determination, despite the fact that she was comforting his former self, and despite the fact that Clara was standing beside him, the Doctor suddenly remembered the reason his Tenth self had fallen in love with her:

 _It was her hidden strength, the spirit inside her, all that shone through in times of adversity. And as much as he hated to acknowledge it, he felt as if he was falling for her all over again..._

"Don't just stand there," Rose said sharply, "Come and help me! We need to get him out of here – _now_!"


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

They had left the planet swiftly, and Clara had been relieved that Rose had focussed all her time and attention on the Tenth Doctor as they made the journey back to Earth.

But even though it was clear she was devoted to him, and even though this situation was far from a happy one, Clara felt a certain sense of relief from knowing that as far as Rose was concerned, her Doctor was the man she loved. She saw nothing about Rose to suggest she wound have an interest in his future self – yet when she looked at the Doctor, she caught him doing it again - looking at Rose and then looking away, then looking out to space...

As Clara stood beside him and he kept on looking out as stars and inky night of space reflected in his pale eyes, she wondered where his thoughts were, and where his heart truly lie..

It was still there, that nagging sense of doubt.

She didn't understand it, this almost felt like...some kind of instinct, _warning_ her of something?

This had not happened until he had made the choice to bring Rose into their lives.

 _It meant something._

She just hadn't figured out what, not yet.

But it was there, and it _had_ to be there for a reason...

* * *

The injured Doctor slept for most of the journey. When the Tardis landed, the Doctor opened up the door and led Clara out to an impressive house with white painted walls and gleaming windows where hung pristine white nets. The garden was full of flowers in bloom, the scents of roses and herbs mixing in the air as the height of summer brought with it butterflies to dance about the flowers, their wings floating on air as the sun shone down, making the wide lawn look vivid green. It was a rather grand place to be described as a cottage, it was cottage style perhaps, but certainly, a decent sized country home.

"I like it,"Clara said as she stood by the path and looked down toward a front door painted Tardis blue, with gleaming a brass letter box and door knocker.

"I would have brought you here eventually. I was hoping when we did visit it would just be you and me... Maybe next time, then it will feel like real quality time together."

Those words had been spoken with love, his hand brushed against hers as they stood together, and then they linked hands, and he led her up to the front door and used the Tardis key to unlock it.

Clara looked at him in surprise as she stepped inside to a house filled with polished wood and antique furniture. This place was old but well looked after. The floral paper that covered the walls had something of a nineteen forties design about it, but the heating system and the phone line were very much recent installations.

"I don't believe it," she said in surprise as she looked at the Doctor.

He looked back at her knowingly.

"Okay, I admit it – the wallpaper _is_ a bit out of date. And chintzy lace nets are also out of date but hey, I like a touch of old world charm."

"No I meant, you opened this door with the _Tardis_ key!"

"I constructed the lock to fit a copy of it."

"Why?" she asked.

He shrugged.

"Because it's my house?"

Then he looked into her eyes as his voice softened.

"You and me will spend a lot of time here one day, I promise – when I've grown tired of adventure. And even if I don't, I'll make time to be alone with you, away from everything - we both deserve that, Clara."

"Yes, we do."

They walked further down the carpeted hallway, and the Doctor spoke again.

"There are three bedrooms upstairs – master bedroom, guest room and an attic conversion. Upstairs bathroom too, and there's a downstairs back room that's also a guest room, its a good size and has an en suite bathroom – that will be perfect for my other self while he recovers... Did you hear me Clara? I said this is perfect, don't you think?"

Clara looked back at him, troubled by the odd feeling that had just passed through her.

"Its too perfect, she said quietly, "I don't know if you've noticed it, but something isn't right here...nothing has has felt right since you decided to go and fetch Rose."

He briefly put his hands in the pockets of his red-lined jacket and cast her a bemused glance, then looked about the place, took his hands out of his pockets again and gestured about the hallway.

"How can _this_ not be right? It's perfect, its quiet - its a good place for my other self to recover. _Clara, I think you're jealous of Rose._ And you've no reason to be. And I'd really appreciate some honesty about this, because I can't say anything else to reassure you."

She looked at him, at first feeling caught out, but then she looked past that as something _else_ occurred to her:

"Maybe I'm not jealous. Maybe I can feel something you can't."

"Like what?"

"Like it feels as if something is changing, I thought I was insecure about her, but I've got no reason to be, I can see how much she loves him, that other version of you! She's devoted to him! So it's not that. It's something _else_...like you _think_ you haven't changed the time line, but maybe something already has. You said consequences can reach far and wide through time, right? So maybe it's already changed but we just don't know it yet."

The Doctor studied her intently, and then he spoke quietly as he tried to reassure her.

"Clara," he said, "I would know if the time line had been altered in anyway. And it hasn't. When the other Doctor's recovered, he can take his Tardis and return to his proper time and place, and I can take Rose back home to arrive a few hours after she left. The Doctor will pick her up one week later and they will carry on as before, all the pieces back in place. What could possibly go wrong with that?" then he laughed, "You don't think _I_ would do something to alter the time line, do you? I'm not stupid!"

She gave a sigh. Her instincts were still tugging at her yet the Doctor was making it impossible for her to listen.

"I look at you and Rose and I feel something _very_ wrong - like something is going to happen, maybe not between you but _because_ of you?"

"Well it's not!" he told her firmly and then he looked back towards the Tardis that now stood in the driveway near the front door.

"Lets go back and help Rose, the other Doctor needs to get to bed, he needs plenty of rest."

And the Doctor was already walking off without her.

Clara glanced about the house again, then she shook her head,wondering why she could not get thoughts of her lover and Rose Tyler out of her mind, and then she followed him outside.

* * *

 _Three days passed by._

At last the Tenth Doctor was slowly beginning to start to get what he could of himself back together – although he found it both distressing and frustrating that he couldn't simply snap back to his old self once more. As he sat in bed resting against pillows he looked to the window beside him, watched the sun shining down on the garden and the fields beyond, and gave a frustrated sigh.

"You must hate being with me...I know you do...you...you can't like me ...not like..." he paused, losing his train of thought and then he blinked away tears, "I sound so drunk!"

"And you're talking a lot more than you did, and it's happening fast!" Rose told him as she sat down on the edge of the bed, "I really do think you'll get over this."

She smiled, but he shook his head as he struggled to keep his shattered emotions in check.

" _No, I won't...I can't be me any more...Can't even get up."_

His dark eyes were glazed with tears. The touch of her hand to his cheek was soothing, and the Tenth Doctor looked into her eyes and wanted to weep all over again to see so much love there.

" _I'm sorry..."_

"Oi, stop it!" Rose said firmly, "Don't you ever do that again! _Don't_ apologise, this wasn't your fault!"

"I can't do it, not like this...Rose... _Rose._.."

He paused, holding her in his gaze and her heart ached for him as he struggled within that pause to find the right words and dig them out of his damaged mind.

"Rose...I _can't_ be like this. I...I'd rather -"

"Don't say that," she told him, "Don't give up."

And she leant closer and kissed him, he responded quickly reaching for her, wrapping his arms around her, and his embrace felt weak and she knew he was no longer the confident man he used to be, but he was still the man she loved, he was still the Doctor.

"I love you so much," she said softy.

For a moment they stayed together, just embracing as their gaze remained locked. Then Rose kissed him again, and as he responded, his own kisses grew deeper and more urgent.

Her breath was hot against his flesh and she kissed down his throat and then down to his shoulder. He leant back against the pillow and caught his breath, closing his eyes as she slid the sheet off his body and he felt her hand so gentle down there, stroking him, encouraging his erection to harden.

" _Oh Rose..."_ he whispered, pausing to draw another heavy breath, "Thank you...thank you for...still loving me... wanting me..."

Her movements became more firm and then her hand was off him and he was in her mouth, she was sucking him and it was all becoming too much as his voice trembled with emotion as he gasped his last words before the orgasm took him over:

" _Thank you...for staying with me..."_

Then he gave a sharp cry and she kept him there, deep in her mouth until the last of the orgasm was spent.

He was still breathing in sharp bursts as she slid up the bed and lay beside him – and it was then Rose realised the Doctor was crying.

"No, please don't..." she said gently as she wiped away his tears, "Don't cry, I love you..."

He drew in a sharp breath and fixed her with his dark gaze.

"And I'm finished... you don't need someone...like me, like _this_...I can't even walk!"

Rose thought for a moment, and then an idea hit her.

"Can you try and heal yourself? With a bit of regeneration?"

Frustration burned in his eyes.

I can't remember how to... I...I don't think it would work anyway...I'm too weak to try..."

"And that's okay," Rose promised him, "I love you, this doesn't stop me from loving you, nothing will, not ever."

As the Doctor looked into her eyes, he knew she was speaking from her heart - that beautiful human heart that had belonged to him right from the start.

"I love you too," he whispered, and as he blinked away more tears, she held him in her arms and placed a soft kiss against his hair.

"It _will_ be okay," she assured him, "I'll love you forever."

* * *

The Doctor and Clara were up in the bedroom on the upper floor, in the master bedroom, where a four poster bed was adorned with velvet drapes and the room had a decidedly romantic feel about it.

Except that Clara did not feel romantic at all – her thoughts kept lingering on the Doctor and Rose and how nothing had felt right since Rose had showed up, she knew it now – it wasn't jealousy.

It something _else_ and she couldn't work it out...

The doors were open to the balcony, and the Doctor had stepped out to take some night air. His crimson lined jacket was off, his shirt party unbuttoned, and he had been thinking about taking Clara into his arms, but first, he wanted to breathe in the sweet summer air...

And then he looked to the back of the garden, fixed his gaze on the sight of Rose as she paused by the garden wall to pick some flowers. The sunlight was fading, making her hair look like honeyed gold and her pale dress was so sheer he could see the outline of her body through it as the sinking rays of the day turned down to sunset.

 _And he couldn't look away._

"Are you coming to bed?" Clara's voice drifted from the other room, "I could use an early night – especially on a night like this...It is beautiful out there, isn't it..."

"Yes it certainly is," the Doctor replied, putting on his sonic glasses and using them to zoom in on the sight of Rose, up close...she hadn't changed, she was still beautiful..and maybe, she was still _The One_...

His hearts were beating harder as Clara called him again, and he took off the glasses and left the balcony.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

He looked at her and shrugged.

"Should I not be? Why do you keep looking at me like that?"

"Like what?" she asked as she took off her shoes and sat on top of the covers, enjoying a cool sweet breeze that sighed in, taking off the heat of the day nicely.

"Like you don't trust me any more?"

She blinked.

"I never said that. I said I felt like something has already changed – but it can't be the time line, because you would feel it first, wouldn't you?"

He thought about it.

"Not unless it was something I'd already done and I don't see how intervening in the situation with my other self l can affect anything. It doesn't affect outside events. I think I can honesty say the universe remains safe, Clara."

"But something feels out of place. Why am I the only one who feels it?"

"I don't know,"he said as he joined her on the bed, "But all I can do Clara, is to promise you that nothing _has_ changed."

Then he reached for her and briefly held her, as he tried to ignore the guilt that bit deep as he tried not to think too much about how he felt when he looked at Rose. Now he had started watching her – was that a creepy thing to do? He wasn't certain but he was damned sure he wasn't about to ask Clara's opinion on the matter...

As he let go of her he smiled.

"How about you lie back and I remind you how much you mean to me?"

"Just hold me, I'm tired," she replied and it sounded like a lie, but as she lay there on top of the covers and the night breeze shifted in as it grew darker outside, the Doctor held her. And while Clara slept, his eyes were wide open as he lay there looking out to the night sky and the stars that burned within it as his thoughts shifted back to Rose Tyler...

* * *

" _Did you get those flowers for me?"_

As the Tenth Doctor asked that question, morning light streamed into the bedroom, and the covers were folded back, and as Rose let her gaze wander over the sight of a body not at all marked by his accident, she smiled as she shifted closer and then ran her fingers through his silky hair as she gave him good morning kiss.

"Yes, I cut them for you last night. You was asleep, I didn't want to wake you. How do you feel?"

He thought about it.

"I'm just the same... still basically screwed," he replied, and then as he smiled, she caught a flicker of warmth in his eyes, a little spark that reminded her of how he was before the accident.

"I'm going into town this morning, going to get some shopping. Do you want to come with me?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Rose...I can't walk."

"You have a wheelchair."

"And I hate it."

"Okay," she said "I'll go on my own, then. I won't be gone long, a couple of hours..."

And then she kissed him fondly and got out of bed.

The Doctor gave a sigh of frustration and lay back against the pillow, feeling resigned to being stuck in a body that was damaged, and would most likely stay that way for the rest of his Tenth regeneration...

* * *

Up in the master bedroom, Clara was already up and dressed, and now she was sitting at the dressing table, had just finished brushing her hair, and then she turned to the Doctor, watching as he stood before a full length mirror, buttoning up his shirt.

"I was just thinking," she said to him,"If the other Doctor never makes a full recovery we could be here for a very long time."

"True," he replied.

"But he seems to be getting a lot better. I mean, he can talk more easily now. Even if this is as good as it gets, he's got Rose. We could always loan them the cottage, let them stay as long as they like. That would leave us free to go off and get on with our lives."

Her suggestion made both his hearts sink like two ships hit by cannon fire at the same moment.

"That's a good suggestion," he said to her, and then he glanced out the window, where his own Tardis was now separate from the other Doctors and set beneath the shade of a willow tree.

"Clara," he said as he made a deliberately slow job of closing a button on his shirt purely because he preferred to lie with his back turned, "I want to see if there's anything more I can do for my other self to make his Tardis as tough as mine. I need you to go into my Tardis, into the library and find me Tardis manual 0008701. It could take around a couple of hours, but you'll find it in the end. Would you do that for me, please?"

"Of course," she replied, "And Doctor, that's a really nice thought, it will give him a lot of confidence in his ship again if you can make that improvement."

And Clara walked to the door and turned back and smiled.

"I might kiss you later for that,"she told him, and then she walked away.

The Doctor looked back at the mirror and his expression hardened as he met his own gaze, and he thought of his real reason for sending Clara to go and find a manual that did not exist:

With Rose also out of the house, it left him alone with the Tenth Doctor, who needed help only he could provide. He had come up with the plan in the middle of the night while he had stayed awake as Clara slept on beside him:

 _A little bit of spare regenerative power would be enough to heal his Tenth self. But he wanted something in return for it. He wanted to tell him many things, and ask him to make a promise..._

And maybe that was what Clara had sensed somehow, that a ripple was about to hit the time line. It wouldn't change the world, but it would change the world for this TimeLord, for sure...

He didn't feel great about this, but he could not ignore his own burning need to carry out his plan because he knew the truth now, he had never stopped loving Rose Tyler.

As he looked into the mirror, he caught a flicker of darkness in his pale blue eyes and he spoke in a low voice as he addressed his own reflection:

" _Rather a wicked plan,"_ he murmured, _"Doctor, you really are nothing more than a selfish old man..."_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Rose was in the town.

She was walking past shop fronts, and then she stopped, looked around and thought of the countess times she had walked through streets much like these with the Doctor. She remembered how he would hold her hand, how he made her smile, how lively and animated he always was – how active and always talking...

And then tears blurred her eyes, and she drew in a deep breath, determined to stay strong now.

She couldn't think about the past yet without breaking down, because every time she looked at the Doctor, she saw such frustration in his eyes as he struggled to do the things he used to do and take for granted. He had never wanted to end up like this, he lived for adventure, he was always an optimist, now he was so sad and helpless - and seeing him like that was hard to accept, when she knew it wasn't likely to get much better any time soon...

But if this was how the Doctor was going to be, he could do nothing to change it, and she knew she needed to accept it too. Things had changed, but it wasn't the end of the world. It just meant they _both_ needed to accept it.

Reminding herself that the outcome could have been worse – that the Doctor could have lost his life that day in the tunnel – brought her some comfort. Yes, there could have been a _much_ worse outcome...

She thought again of how she remembered him on the day he had taken her back home to visit her mum. He had smiled as he reached the Tardis, that smile that always melted her heart, his dark eyes had sparkled and she had smiled back, waved, and then he had gone inside, and the Tardis had vanished.

She had not expected anything to go wrong, not like this...

But she could handle it. _She had to, because he loved him._

Rose held on to that thought as she saw herself reflected in the glass of the store front, and then she she walked on towards the supermarket wanting to get the shopping and then go back to the house as quickly as she could, and when she got there, the first thing she would do would be to put her arms around the Doctor, kiss him and remind him again how much she loved him.

* * *

While Rose was out, the Tenth Doctor was wrapped in a dressing gown and sitting on a bench on the patio. Rose had left him with some tea, reminded him the other Doctor was there if he needed anything, and then she had left.

And he missed her already. He wanted to be back in his Tardis, just him and Rose, the two of them carrying on with their lives as before.

Except that it felt as if he would never be able to get back to those days again, because he could barely drink his tea, let alone get up from the bench and walk unaided...

Pain reflected in his eyes as he looked down the garden and wished he had handled the void trap differently.

But he still didn't know what the right approach would have been, and no doubt never would – all the same, he had the rest of his regeneration to think about it now...

" _Can I talk to you?"_

The Tenth Doctor turned his head and saw his Twelfth incarnation standing beside him. He had left off his crimson lined jacket due to the heat, and as he nodded, he sat down beside him.

"I'm really sorry about what happened to you," he told him.

The Tenth Doctor looked into the eyes of his older self and shook his head.

"Cant change it... I just have to get on... I know Rose still loves me... That's enough, I can live with that."

"But _can_ you?"

"I've got no choice."

The Tenth Doctor leant heavily on the arm rest of the bench and sat upright, then he fell silent once more.

The Doctor looked at his Tenth self and thought of all he had planned, then he wondered how he would feel once the deed was done - he had no intention of causing harm, although it felt wrong to be doing all he had planned, he guessed afterwards he would look back on his Tenth life and feel thankful for what was about to occur, he was about to make his Tenth self better, and in turn, make many happy memories for _himself_ in _this_ life to look back on...

 _All of those memories with Rose._

 _And maybe in the future..._

 _No._

The Doctor hesitated, this wicked plan of his only involved making more and better time for his Tenth self and Rose, so that he could be healed and in turn later on, in other lifetimes, he would have so much more of Rose to look back on...

" _I'm basically selfish."_

As he made that admission, the Tenth Doctor looked at him in surprise.

"You cant be that bad..you...you're, you're _me_..."

Hearing him struggle with his words only made the Doctor want to admit everything, but he began to explain carefully.

"Have you not wondered how come I have a Twelfth regeneration?"

"It's best if you don't...don't tell me...don't say -"

"I feel bad about shutting you up because your speech is affected but Doctor, you _have_ to listen to me! The TimeLords gave me a new set of regenerations. That makes me a bit different, I'm a new start...And I'm full of regenerative power and I bet if I shared it with you nothing terrible would happen. I bet I could fix you."

The tenth Doctor's dark eyes widened in alarm.

"You can't -"

"I can," he assured him, "I'm very different to the other versions of me, I _can_ do this. But if I do, you need to be honest with me."

"About what?"

"About how you would do anything to hold on to Rose Tyler. I'm telling you now, even from here, in life number twelve, you will never, _ever_ stop loving her _. The Doctor will always love Rose, fact_."

"What...what are you saying about Rose? What's going to happen...I...I need to know -"

"And I will tell you because you do need to know. And don't you start telling me about no messing with time, because you _can_ tinker with it. Just like you secretly chose your Tenth appearance prior to regeneration, you did it by design to be the handsome romantic, the seducer... because you wanted _her_! And there _is_ a way you can hold on to her. Do it for you, and do it for every version of you that follows! Make good memories, make a life with her! I'll give you a list of all the dates, times and places where you need to be – and I'll tell you how you lost her and then you can figure out a way to stop it from happening."

He stared at him.

"I _lose_ Rose?"

"You won't," he promised, "Now let me find bit of spare regenerative power, and lets see if I can fix your injury...it shouldn't take much. But I have no idea if this will hurt or not...It _might_ sting a bit."

As he spoke, the Doctor was moving his fingers, drawing up a glow of fiery energy that made his blood sing in his veins as the fires of regeneration seemed to glow within every nerve in his body. He concentrated on holding the glow in his hand, and then he carefully brought it close to the scar on the Tenth Doctor's temple.

"Ready?" he asked.

"No...no don't..." his younger self said in alarm.

"You really should take a gamble more often," he replied, and then he pushed the energy in closer, and it slipped into the wound, and the Tenth Doctor grabbed at his head as he gave a yell of pain.

The fires flickered and faded from his hand as the Twelfth Doctor looked on in alarm, wondering if he had just harmed his other self.

But as the pain faded and the Tenth Doctor sat upright he stopped grabbing at his head and then ran his fingers through his hair to push it out of his eyes, and then he shot a look of alarm to his future self.

" _It might sting a bit?"_ he exclaimed "Oh, that _hurt_! You _knew_ that was going to hurt!"

Twelve smiled.

"Welcome back, Doctor. I guessed I fixed the problem."

Then the Doctor looked at him in surprise as Ten got up and walked across the patio, then he laughed, and so did his older self, and then the Twelfth Doctor got up and walked over and joined him at the edge of the lawn.

 _"You just healed me."_

"I know"

Ten thought about it.

"Did you do it for me, or for you?"

The Doctor smiled slyly.

"Both, I must confess, it was for _both_ reasons."

Ten laughed again, and joy shone in his eyes.

"I can't wait to see the look on her face when Rose finds out -"

"No, we need to talk. Now you have your speech back, now you can talk again, now you can get back on track, you need to sit down with me and listen. Because if you don't you'll lose her. And believe me, you _don't_ want that pain any more than every other regeneration that follows yours wants to feel it. So please, shut up and listen to _me_ , Doctor."

The Tenth Doctor's smile faded.

"As much as I object to bending the laws of time, think I ought to hear you out."

"Good man," Twelve replied, "Let's get this sorted."

And then he went over to a table on the patio and sat down and Ten sat with him, and the two versions of the Doctor had a long discussion about future events and ways to avoid disaster.

* * *

Almost two hours had passed by.

Clara was still in the Tardis library and Rose was on her way back from town.

As the Tenth Doctor looked into the eyes of his older self, he asked another question – and there had been many, after all the Doctor had told him about what was to come...

"How do I die?"

"You can't avoid the incident. It involves the return of the Master and the return of Gallifrey, with the TimeLords threatening to bring about the end of time. You have to handle this, its a fixed point. And knowing your great commitment to preserving human life you will save a life by absorbing a deadly amount of radiation. But you know this in advance now - so if you can find a way to combat the effect of that damage, you could buy yourself sometime and if you do, you _must_ regenerate in the Tardis whilst its in orbit near earth. That means no matter how long or short your life is after that, you get more time with Rose, but when the new you crash lands, my Eleventh life goes on as it was before, and when his life is over he becomes me – a whole new set of regenerations - life for the Doctor for thousands of years to come. Your only problem is finding a way to live longer with the damage caused by the radiation. You have time left to search the universe."

The Tenth Doctor nodded.

"And I will do that," he vowed.

"I know you will, I remember being you, remember how badly you wanted to stay. Maybe now you'll have a chance to do that a while longer."

The Tenth Doctor checked his watch.

"Rose will be back soon."

And he got up from the table with ease and smiled.

"I'm going to surprise her!"

And the older Doctor smiled back at his younger self, who then walked off back into the house, leaving him alone in the garden as he wondered if all Clara had felt about something being wrong was actually about this – the Doctor sharing some future knowledge to bend the rules a little... So far he felt no change at all – but that would come later, and when it did, he just hoped what ever hit him came through as a stream of good news, _not_ scenes of disaster as the ripples made their way outwards, slipping through the time stream...

The Doctor looked to his Tardis, where Clara was still searching for that manual she wasn't going find. He smiled as he thought of her trying so hard to find that book, and then he took a walk towards the blue box, deciding to keep her company, and then make some coffee so they could sit down and he could explain everything to her...

* * *

Rose arrived back a short while later and put the shopping away in the kitchen and then went out to the patio.

The Doctor wasn't there, his tea was on the table and it had gone cold, and she felt an instant surge of worry.

"Doctor?" she called out, looking about the garden but seeing no one, and then she went back into the kitchen, noticing something she had not seen while she was busy unpacking the bags on the other side of the room:

There was a note on the table...

She picked it up and unfolded it and started to read:

 _'Dear Rose,'_ the Doctor had written, _"I wanted to say thank you for the way you've supported me through this. I know it hasn't been easy, and I know that if you had to spend the rest of your life looking after me, you would have done it. But you don't have to, because something has changed and I think you're going to like it._

 _All my love, The Doctor.'_

She looked at the note again, feeling confused...

What could have changed?

" _Hello, Rose."_

As she heard him speak she turned around, and then she looked in surprise at the sight of the Tenth Doctor, he was wearing a pinstripe suit, his hair was spiked up and his eyes were sparkling and he looked as if the accident had never happened. He gave her a smile that warmed her heart and then walked over to her.

"Apparently my Twelfth self is something of an anomaly...the fact that there _is_ a number Twelve should have made me realise what he was capable of. He gave me a little of his regenerative power- he's full of it! And here I am, all put back together again."

And he smiled again, and Rose flung her arms around him and he lifted her off her feet, spun her around and then kissed her as he set her down again.

"You're okay?" she said in amazement.

"Yes."

"You can talk and walk and there's nothing wrong with you any more?"

"That's right!"

She hugged him again and then he pulled her into his arms and kissed her, and then as he broke off from that kiss and looked into her eyes, what Rose saw burning in his gaze looked to be passion, but in fact it was much more than that:

 _He was looking at her remembering all his older self had told him. Yes, the future would be different, at least for him, because he knew too much now - more than he should have done, but now he knew, he made a silent vow to never let her go..._

"Let's go inside," he said impatiently, taking her by the hand and leading her back towards the house, "I need some time alone with you, I've missed this, I've missed me and you _so_ much...we're staying in bed for the rest of the day, Rose Tyler!"

* * *

The Doctor had gone back to his own Tardis, found Clara in the library and told her to forget about the book, and then he had taken her through to the Tardis kitchen, told her to sit down and made coffee for both of them. Then he had sat down too and smiled at her across the small table.

" _I helped him."_

"How?"

"I'm full of regenerative energy – there was no harm in sharing it. I'm the first in a new cycle, no harm in me passing some power back into one of my former selves. He's fine, he's absolutely fine like the accident never happened. "

Clara smiled.

"That was a good thing to do!"

And he loved that soft look in her big eyes as she smiled at him so sweetly, and he didn't want it to fade away – but he knew that it would - as soon as he made his next confession...

" _I also told him some stuff about the future. I told him about the point in time where he could lose Rose. And he also asked me about his own death and I was honest with him."_

He had expected her to be shocked, but no, it wasn't shock he saw in her eyes, it was a look of absolute disbelief...

"You told your former self how he _dies_?"

"Yes."

"Why did you do that?"

"Because I recall how afraid I was of dying back in that lifetime - I really didn't want to go, I wasn't ready."

"And you don't think this could cause those big ripples in the time line you worry about so much? You don't think you've altered anything by giving away too much information?"

The Doctor gave a sigh.

"Clara, sometimes when I go off without you, I can be gone for a century or longer – then I simply return in your time, meet you a couple of weeks after you last saw me and to you its been two weeks. To me, I've been away for many years."

"Do you do that often?" she asked.

"Not that often or that long, but sometimes its been a few years...you never know any different thanks to time travel."

Clara felt confused by his words

"So...what does this have to do with your former self?"

"I gave him a list of significant events. As long as he handles them the way he did in the other version of events, he'll be fine. He wants to live longer. He might be able to do it. He has a long time to find a way to do that before the time of the four knocks comes."

"Four knocks?"

"There was a prophecy around his death, _He will knock four times_. But that's a long way off. He has time to sort a lot of things."

And the Doctor smiled.

"See what I've done, Clara? I've made his life better, helped him to hang on to Rose, and I will get something out of this too – the ability to look back on my Tenth life with no heartbreak involved. Why are you not smiling? Why are you looking at me like I've done a bad thing?"

His voice had darkened.

Clara gave a weary sigh.

"He didn't want to die?Has it occurred to you that maybe he will make every effort to cheat death to make sure he lives a _very_ long time? So long that perhaps everything could change forever in a _really_ bad way?"

Her words chilled him more than he cared to admit.

The Doctor laughed nervously.

"Did you not listen to what I said about the Tardis can be away for years and back in the blink of an eye? They could have longer together. As long as he returns to the right time and place when he regenerates, no harm done."

Clara was staring at him as her face paled.

"No harm done yet," she said, "I guess we'll have to wait and see on that one, wait for the big changes to turn up and hope it's not too bad. "

"I'm still here," he reminded her.

She set down her coffee and got up.

"For now," she replied, "That could change too... in time. _You're an idiot!_ "

And then she walked out of the room, leaving the Doctor alone in the Tardis kitchen as he watched Clara's coffee grow cold.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

 _It was like the accident had never happened._

At least, that was how Rose saw it as the Tenth Doctor pushed her back playfully against the mattress and impatiently reached for her underwear and slid it down.

"Take everything off!" he said breathlessly as he struggled with his tie, pulled it open and then tugged at the buttons of his shirt, then cast his shirt into the same untidy pile where the rest of his clothing had landed on the floor.

Rose giggled and kicked off her underwear, then she took off her top and threw it on to the pile of clothing that was becoming increasingly tangled in a heap. Her bra was last, and as she lay back down, the weight of him was on top of her as they kissed deeply and rolled together on the bed.

"I thought I'd never be able to do this again!" he exclaimed, and then he turned her on her back, pulled the pillow out from under her head, and as he placed it behind her lower back she laughed.

"I'm comfortable enough."

His eyes were shining with desire.

"You are now," he promised her, and then he slid his hands up her thighs, parting her legs carefully but firmly as he tried to hold back from losing control.

"I've missed you, Rose!" he said, and then she cried out as he thrust into her. He moved slowly at first, all the while looking down at her as he moved against her.

"Don't close your eyes, look at me..."

She opened her eyes as her body jerked with his every movement and the sight of him making love to her was enough to make her moan all over again.

A trickle of sweat ran down his face as he carefully pushed deeper, his movements becoming harder and faster, now the bed was squeaking and the head board was tap-tapping against the wall in a solid rhythm.

He was breathing in short sharp bursts as he moved faster, and she reached for him, clinging to his shoulders as the headboard knocked against the wall faster and faster.

" _Rose!"_ he cried, and then he buried himself deep inside her, their bodies damp with sweat as they lay together, both flushed and their skin dampened by their lovemaking.

"I've missed you too!" she exclaimed, raising a weak hand to sweep her hair out of her eyes, and then she made a move to separate from him, but he held her there, still buried inside her.

"No no, not yet... I'm home now Rose, let me stay there for a while..."

And he laughed softly as his eyes shone with amusement.

"Okay, but you'll have to come out of there soon!"

"I know..."

He kissed her and their bodies were still locked together.

"I love you so much, Rose," he said as he looked into her eyes.

As she looked up at him as he held her, she was sure she had never seen such intensity burning in his gaze before.

"Are you okay?"

"Of course I am, why? I told you, I've never felt better."

"I know..." she ran her fingers through his hair, "You just seem a bit.. _.intense_...today? "

"Does it surprise you after what I've been through?"

"No," she replied softly, and then they kissed again as they lay together, her on her back and him on top of her, their bodies still locked together.

For a short while the Doctor held her there, feeling warm and safe with Rose in his arms. Then he glanced at the clock on the wall.

" _Yeah..that should do it...time to change position,"_ he muttered.

"What?" she said, and was still thinking about that remark as they separated, but then they were side by side, looking into each other's eyes as he wrapped his arms around her again.

"The Twelfth Doctor told me some things about my future. He told me about my own death. And I can't avoid the circumstances, but I think I can find a way to hold off dying..."

The look in her eyes had changed, and it hurt him to see her look so afraid for him.

" _You're going to die?"_

"One day, but not yet. I know the cause is radiation. I also know a few planets where the population live in places that are naturally high in radiation. But they found away to stop it killing them - they developed chambers that neutralise a certain amount of the radiation on a daily basis. If I can get hold of one of those chambers, I could live with that fatal dose and lead a normal life for quite a while... I have to get one, Rose."

She nodded.

"Yeah, why not? Just in case, keep it for the future."

"I might not _definitely_ need it but -"

"What did you mean just now when you said _that should do it._..when you looked at the time?"

His dark eyes widened.

"No idea... I can't even remember the question. Mind you, I have just had some regenerative power burned through my brain. I'm not surprised that I'm not making a great deal of sense!"

The look in her eyes softened.

"I'm just glad to have you back to normal again," she said, and then she held him closer and rested in his arms as he gently stroked her hair.

"When we leave here," he told her softly, "I'm taking you far away to a lovely place where you and me can rest and relax, somewhere that doesn't know what the word _trouble_ means. I want you to have things nice and quiet for a while, Rose. No stress."

She had closed her eyes as she rested with her head on his shoulder, and now a smile played about her lips.

"You're so sweet to say that, Doctor," she murmured, "But you're the one who's been through all the pain."

"And you too," he reminded her, "We both need a nice break somewhere."

"I'd like that," she said, and he smiled as he looked down at her.

"Me too," he replied, and then he kissed her cheek and watched as she slept, smiling as he thought about how he had just done something that would _definitely_ change the course of their future...

* * *

It was early the next morning when the Doctor and Clara were downstairs and Clara was about to cook breakfast, when the Tenth Doctor and Rose came into the kitchen, and as she saw the joy on her face as her lover hugged her, Clara wondered why she had not seen it from the start:

 _These two were truly, deeply in love. There was no way Rose ever would have looked at another man, she was in love with the Doctor's Tenth self, and always would be..._

 _Why hadn't she seen it before?_

 _Perhaps because something still felt, at least to her, to be strangely out of place?_

"Thanks for everything you've done for us," Ten said, "It means a lot, it really does."

The Doctor smiled.

"Hey, if I can't help myself, who can I help?"

"Thanks again," the Tenth Doctor said, and he winked, and the Doctor smiled again.

Then Rose reached down to pick up her bag and Ten got there before her, snatching it up as he insisted he carried it for her, and then she looked back, said goodbye, and they walked away towards the front door. Then the door closed, and moments later the sound of a departing Tardis filled the air.

"That went rather well," the Doctor said to Clara.

She looked at him suspiciously. That feeling of _something_ being out of place was still there, and he still didn't feel it...

"Apparently it did," she replied, "Let's hope you're right."

"I usually am," he told her.

" _Most_ of the time - but not all," she reminded him, and the Doctor turned his pale blue eyes skywards, thinking of space and time beyond as he wondered when he would start to recall new memories. So far, there was nothing new at all, the time line seemed unchanged...

* * *

A short while later the Doctor locked up the house, took a fond look around the gardens and the landscape beyond, and then smiled as he looked to Clara.

"That turned out well. And I really think it's best that we get back to the Tardis for a while. I miss travelling. Maybe we'll come back here again in a few month's time."

"I'd like that," she replied as they walked away from the house together, "This time, make it just the two of us?"

He smiled again.

"Yes, it will just be you and me and lots of time for us."

Then they reached the open gate, and he laughed softly as they reached the Tardis door.

"You really imagined something bad would happen because I made a few suggestions to an old version of me? Clara, I only have _my_ best interests at heart – in this life or others, I'm _still_ the Doctor!"

Now she smiled too.

"I know that..." and she glanced about the sunny landscape, taking another look at the house, then she met his gaze again.

"I don't know why I keep feeling some thing's different... I mean, you're the Doctor, you'd feel it first, right?"

"Yes of course I would! There's no reason for you to feel like something has changed unless it changed in your time line and I don't see how that could happen..."

He paused. He had just opened the Tardis door and as he looked to the console he wondered if he was right about that theory. He hoped he wasn't, because another thought had just come to mind, one he didn't want to share with Clara:

 _Maybe he felt nothing was different because he was yet to slip back into the time stream..._

Suddenly his throat felt tight and he was very, very nervous...

"Are you okay?" Clara asked, waiting for him to go into the Tardis so that she could follow.

He shook his head.

"Yeah... I'm fine...it's nothing."

They went inside and closed the door.

"Let's get out of here," he said, and threw a lever.

The Tardis groaned and whooshed and then faded from the place near the house, reappearing in the inky darkness of starlit space, where it floated gently.

* * *

"It's good to be home," the Doctor said, and he leant on the console, smiled at Clara, who cautiously smiled back, and then he looked down at the controls.

And as The Tardis slipped through time and space, it all caught up with him:

 _Those words._

 _It's good to be home..._

His Tenth self had said that on a planet far from Earth, he had said it as he walked into a comfortable front room and sat down beside Rose.

Home had been for a long, _long_ time...

" _How can this be?"_ he whispered as more images and memories played through his mind.

"Doctor?" Clara said, her voice edged with unease, "What's happened? Please tell me..."

The Doctor felt slightly unsteady for a moment as he stood at the console and put a hand to his temple and closed his eyes, trying to slow down the flow of information. It wasn't in sequence, and he was trying to piece it together:

 _Rose with a pregnancy test._

Oh yes, he got that part.

He had advised him, _She wants a family with you. Get her pregnant, marry her. Keep her safe, out of trouble..._

And he had, the Tenth Doctor had made sure she was pregnant on their last day at the house, he had deliberately used his smart TimeLord biology to by pass her contraception...

" _I can't be pregnant," Rose had said, and the Tenth Doctor had wrapped his arms around her and kissed her._

" _You are," he had promised her, "And now I want to marry you, Rose Tyler..."_

A rush of emotion ran through the Doctor as he stood there, taking in all these changes to his own past two lifetimes ago.

Then he saw the Tenth Doctor tracking down the radiation neutralising chamber, after a long search he had found the chamber he needed, and had called the seller on a far off planet using the Tardis phone.

" _How much?"_ he had exclaimed when he heard the price, but then he had looked to pregnant Rose and agreed to the purchase, remembering he would most likely need it one day...

And he had needed it, after taking more radiation than his body could handle. It had been rough at first, but once the machine had adjusted to his needs the Tenth Doctor had been able to live his life free of pain, sometimes sleeping in the chamber up to six hours a day, but he had lived for years...

" _He shouldn't have lived that long!"_ the Doctor exclaimed, and then he opened his eyes, but still the stream of memories did not stop coming at him.

"What do you mean?" Clara said in alarm, but the Doctor's eyes were blurring as he focussed on the stream of information that was racing through his head like a runaway train.

"Clara... he married her, they had a son... And they went to... _why_ would they go back to Asponi Iyralla, when he was dependent on the chamber?"

"Because he had a hidden condition that didn't show, because him and Rose would have fitted right in with the beautiful people?" Clara suggested, and the Doctor snapped his fingers.

"Yes, of _course_! And it was a peaceful place, never seen a war or any kind of conflict...perfect place to raise a child..."

"You said he lived a long time? How long?"

The Doctor couldn't answer that question as something else hit him and he blinked away tears as joy shone in his eyes.

"I'm seeing it... the day his son was born and he held him in his arms for the first time... Oh, he was so happy. They both were..."

And then as other images flickered through his mind, he shook his head.

"I don't get this...Oh no, no...I do!" I wish I didn't, but I do!"

And then he saw the images rushing at him:

Rose was sobbing as she reached for his jacket and pulled him back.

"You don't understand!" she yelled, "I'm your _wife_!"

And the young man in the bow tie pushed his floppy hair off his face and looked at her in alarm.

"You're not my wife! I don't have a wife called Rose! And I don't have kids... let go of me!"

And then the door slammed shut.

Then the newly regenerated Doctor, whose regeneration had caused his memories to, at least in this life, become what the Doctor could only liken to lasagne, had taken off in the Tardis at top speed, spinning down out of control as he yelled...

 _Geronimo!_

The Doctor looked to Clara.

Okay...I haven't messed up the time line...my Tenth self had a long life - most likely a combination of the neutralising chamber to stave off the radiation damage and the fact that he was carrying some very powerful extra regenerative power thanks to me. So it's more like a bump in the time line. A little bump that gave him more time and then when he regenerated, Eleven couldn't recall anything at all about Rose and the circumstances, so he took off. He ran away in the Tardis, and everything carried on as it should... That's good... not _too_ much change, then..."

But then he frowned as he recalled seeing Rose standing there, her face streaked with tears as she begged him not to leave...

"But there's this part I don't get," he said to Clara, "I saw Rose begging my Eleventh self to stay. _And my Tenth Self was standing beside her_. _Explain that._ "

Her eyes widened and she shook her head.

"I don't see how he could be..."

"It was definitely him, he reached for her and physically pulled her back, he held her as she cried, he was _real._ This wasn't a hologram...but I don't recall a second version of him ever coming about in the altered future, in the new time line there was no meta crisis..."

Then he gave a gasp.

"He still met everyone he knew in his Tenth lifetime, because sometimes he liked to get away and travel... but his only other travelling companion was Martha... she was a friend to Rose, he used to take her back to see Rose and the baby...she was like family... The only links he had to the Noble family -"

"What did you say?" Clara asked sharply, and the heat at which her temper rose astonished her.

"The Noble family – Wilf , the guy the Tenth Doctor saved on the day he took the radiation dose, he was close to him and his family too...but there was no Doctor Donna."

Clara's eyes narrowed.

"I _never_ want to hear that phrase again!" she snapped as she stepped closer.

The Doctor blinked.

"I only said _Doctor Donna_.."

" _I'm warning you!"_ she yelled.

He stared at her.

Clearly, events had turned out _very_ differently in this altered time line and Donna had never been a passenger in the Tardis... So why did Clara fly into an almost murderous rage at the mention of her name?

* * *

For a moment they stood in silence as Clara tried to control her anger and he struggled to remember. It was yet to come back to him, but he was getting the feeling that perhaps this was something altered in his _current_ time line, yet another ripple that had passed down, caused by changes to the past - and it was about to come back and slap him in the face - and so was Clara, by the look in her eyes...

Now Clara was getting a flashback to the new time line:

 _Donna Noble talking on the phone, sending text messages..._

 _The day she met the Twelfth Doctor when he stopped by with Clara to say Hi to the family..._

" _Oh no..."_ she said in a hushed voice, _"No..."_

The Doctor reached for her.

"I haven't quite got it yet...what's this about?"

"Don't you touch me!" Clara fumed, as more images hit her:

 _A summer barbecue at the house._

 _The Doctor giving Donna his number._

And that day he left his phone in the Tardis and so many messages came through, Clara thought there was an emergency on some far off planet and someone needed the Doctor's help.

It turned out all Donna had needed was what she had read in the message:

 _'Hurry up Doctor scarlet lined jacket, there's an an emergency over here... in my bedroom...hurry up and get over here before bossy Miss Oswald gives you detention again (wink) lets play Doctor together, love Doctor Donna... (two winks).'_

Clara stared at the Doctor, who was now a little behind her in the score of catching up on the new memories.

"No?" she said angrily as they stood by the console and the Tardis glided through starry space, "Haven't you got it yet?"

The Doctor shook his head.

"Not yet."

Anger and hurt flashed in Clara's eyes.

" _Let me jog your memory, Doctor. You had an affair with Donna Noble behind my back!"_

His eyes widened.

"I did what? No, Clara that can't be right...Oh no... it _is_ right!"

 _Now_ he had caught up.

The memories slid in there like a wonderfully erotic but guilt shaded mosaic:

Secret looks and words exchanged in low voices, Donna saying how she _loved_ older men... And then...he had taken her back to the Tardis, and...

 _He couldn't change it._

He had taken her up against the console...It had been fast and hard and dirty talk all the way. And because he had got away with it, he had done it again. At the time him and Clara had not been speaking, it had been a minor falling out and they were not quite back on track when Donna had made a play for him.

Oh, Donna Noble...Her hair had been so long and soft, and what that girl could do to him with her mouth...

" _You bewitch me!"_ he had whispered on that fateful day upstairs while the rest of her family had been out in the garden, when he had been upstairs holding on to the balcony rail with one hand while his other hand rested lightly behind her head as she took him in her mouth. He had glanced down at her, there she was, on her knees and sucking him like her life depended on it.

And just as the last throb of pleasure was spent, as she had released him and he had reached down to tidy his clothing, Clara Oswald had reached the top of the stairs.

" _You cheating bastard!"_ she had said.

Donna had jumped up saying something about him _having a problem with his belt_.

"Yes, it's not how it looks," the Doctor had said, his face growing pale as he tugged up his zip, "Clara, it's not what you think -"

The slap to his face that followed was deserved and stung like hell.

"I wasn't doing anything !" Donna had protested, hurrying down the stairs after the Doctor and Clara as they both hurried for the front door.

Then they had reached the front door and as the Doctor and Clara had stepped out, Donna had spoken again:

" _It's not what it looks like!"_

Clara had glared at her angrily.

"You slept with my boyfriend, you had _sex_ with him!"

Donna's jaw had dropped.

"I never _slept_ with him, I never went to _bed_ with him!"

Clara had shot her a stony look.

"No sleep, then?Why's that, Donna? Too busy fucking him?"

"We did have sex," the Doctor said quietly, "I'm truly sorry Clara. I made a terrible mistake."

Then Donna had looked angrily at him, and then to Clara.

" _He's lying, we never had sex, we were never in bed, it was just a blow job upstairs on the landing!"_

Oh yes, it was _all_ coming back to him too clearly now...

The Doctor blinked and the rush of memories began to slow, and then it was easier to hold a conversation.

"I'm so sorry. This didn't happen in the other time line. Clara, I wouldn't cheat on you!"

But the memory was there now, and the anger he saw in her eyes pained him.

"But you did," she said coldly, "And I caught you!"

"This is an altered time line – think back. Think back to before!"

"And it's still there, because the past just _changed_! How could you do that to me?"

"Being a TimeLord doesn't stop me being a man like any other, capable of making a mistake."

Clara's eyes reflected anger as she looked back at him, saying nothing.

The Doctor quickly changed the subject, thinking on something else, something that he couldn't leave alone...

"We need to travel back to Asponi Iyralla, I need to know the truth – I don't understand how my Tenth self can still be alive if he had regenerated into Doctor number Eleven and then walked away. It makes no sense."

And he changed the Tardis course, and then turned back to Clara but her eyes still reflected hurt.

"This is because you played with time," she said accusingly, "You always say, leave it alone, don't damage the time line – but you did just that, for your younger self. You did it to give yourself a happy ending in another lifetime. And you did it, because it turned out okay for him. _But look what it's done to us! It's all your fault!_ "

Her words hurt more than he cared to show as he turned back to the Tardis controls. The Doctor didn't want to say it aloud, but he knew she was right:

 _He had tinkered with his own time line, and now he was paying the price..._


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

As the Tardis landed, the Doctor was aware of the awful stony silence between him and Clara.

He got it, he understood why she would be so angry, but he struggled to feel accountable for new memories when he could still recall the other time line of events.

"How far ahead did we go?" Clara asked.

The Doctor turned back to the controls.

"I took us two years after my other self and Rose came to this planet. I need to ask if they have any plans for setting up a three dimensional hologram...I cant think of any other reason why I would be recalling his regeneration into Eleven leaving Rose while my Tenth self was standing beside her solid as life. I need to know what that's about... _Oh no_..."

He gave a heavy sigh.

"Oh no?" she said frostily, "What's _oh no_ for this time, is there another affair I should be remembering that's just hit you before it hits me?"

"And then what if it did, you'll hit me again?"

"You pushed me to it!"

Her words stung but he pushed them aside and shook his head, tapping the monitor.

"I said _Oh no_ , meaning we have gone _too_ far ahead... _Why_ would the Tardis bring us this far? We've landed forty years after they came to live on this planet. Rose must be what, sixty years old at least?"

"Well maybe the Tardis has a reason," Clara replied as she headed for the door, "Let's go and find her."

* * *

"I remember this place," the Doctor said as he joined Clara outside, they had landed the Tardis beneath the shade of a tree, and next to it was the open gates to a park, and across the street were rows of houses, this was where the now busy town ended and the suburbs began. A short distance away, at the end of the road, it opened up into a main road and a wide shopping area. They began to walk down the road as the Doctor looked about him, and with every step, memories of two lifetimes ago came flooding back...

"We cross the road and go down that turning and it's the house at the bottom of the road," he told her, "Twenty first century earth design, a big four bedroom house..."

But Clara was already looking to the shopping centre, and as she pointed above it, to the roof of a tall shopping mall – and then the Doctor looked too, and his eyes widened in surprise.

"I was right," Clara told him, "They _did_ settle here to fit in with the beautiful people. But what I don't understand is how Rose doesn't look a day over twenty..."

The Doctor stared at the billboard, where the image of a young and beautiful Rose Tyler looked glamorous in a sheer gown, advertising the latest in a designer perfume range.

"What do you think, Clara?" he asked her.

She studied the image for a moment.

"Maybe it's been airbrushed. Or maybe Rose has got in with the trend on this planet of being obsessed with perfection – cosmetic surgery?"

"No," he replied, shaking his head, "They have great techniques to preserve looks but they can't manage to stop the clock. She looks _exactly_ as she looked last time we saw her."

And they waited for the gleaming, rushing traffic to stop at the crossing and then they crossed over, heading for the turning where the Doctor recalled he had once lived.

"We'll soon find out when we talk to Rose," he said, and then they walked down the leafy road, heading for a house at the end of the street that would not have looked out of place on twenty-first century earth...

* * *

As they reached the driveway, the door opened and Rose Tyler hurried out. She didn't look a day over twenty and wore ripped denim jeans and a top with hologram swirls around the neckline.

The Doctor stared at her.

"That writing on your clothing says _beautiful_ in Gallifreyan."

"It's a JJS – The Doctor's design..."

She had just opened the door to her gleaming silver car, and she stopped and turned back, staring at the sight of the Twelfth Doctor and Clara.

"It's been years!"

They stepped forward, and Rose looked to the Doctor, and then as pain briefly flashed in her eyes, she quickly pulled her emotions back together.

"Wow...long time no see."

"I'm sorry my Eleventh self couldn't remember you. I'm sorry I left you when I regenerated."

She smiled, and there was a certain strength about that smile that seemed to defy much chance of grief creeping in.

"No really, its okay. The Doctor worked on a program for more than twenty years to keep a part of him around after he died. There's a library full of interactive DVDs that cover every subject, so I can have a two way conversation with him. I have a holo room too, where I can spend time with his three dimensional hologram."

The Doctor stared at her in disbelief.

Now he knew why his Eleventh self had not remembered her...

"He drew out most of his personality, memories and basically all that made him my tenth self and put it into the program?"

Rose nodded.

"Yes, he did it three weeks before he died. After that he barely knew us, but he was fading fast by then. He physically died a year ago. He did tell me it would take at least one more regeneration for the memories to come back to you, because your brain cells would need time to recover from it. But it was worth it. I've still got him in holo form. So I'm only half a widow."

"And his holoform can move about the whole of the house?"

"No," she replied, "The holo room is in my bedroom, for _obvious_ reasons. So we can still be together."

And then the Doctor looked at her in confusion as he recalled seeing his Tenth self standing beside her when his Eleventh regeneration had left the house... he had _not_ been standing in the bedroom, but by the front door...

"Can we come in?"

"Sure, but later..." she checked her watch.

"Oh shit! I can't miss the end!" she exclaimed, "I promised the Doctor I'd be there when he's on the runway!"

And she got into the car.

The Doctor and Clara exchanged a confused glance and then got into the back of the car as Rose started up the engine.

"Runway? Is he a pilot?"

Rose laughed as she drove out of the drive way, turned on to the road and headed for the highway.

"No! Not _that_ kind of runway – he's showing off his autumn collection. He's a fashion designer."

And the car picked up speed rapidly as they turned on to the main road, heading through the busy heart of town.

Clara looked at the Doctor.

"I'm confused."

"Me too. I'm sure it will make sense soon enough."

Then he had addressed Rose again.

"You haven't aged."

She slowed the car as the traffic built up, waiting for lights to change at a junction.

"We worked it out a few years back. The day I looked into the Tardis and saw everything that ever was and ever will be -"

"You were young," the Doctor replied, casting her a knowing glance as he suddenly understood, and Rose glanced back at him and smiled.

"That's right. And when you're young, you can't imagine getting old. _So I didn't._ "

Then the lights changed and she drove on.

"And you're happy living with conversations with a screen and cuddles in bed from a three dimensional hologram of my former self?"

"Absolutely," Rose replied, "Because it means he's not quite dead. His memories - the ones he selected to rip out – live inside the hologram and the interactive system."

"Okay," he replied, knowing at once that she had agreed to this long ago and was happy with the way her dead lover had been able to live on employing the use of TimeLord technology. But he still felt the loss of her, even though he was with Clara and had certainly hurt her too many times because cheating on her once was one time too many – the dreamer in him had hoped that maybe one day him and Rose Tyler could have...No, it _wasn't_ going to happen. She still had a part of Ten in her life, and she was happy to settle for that.

"So if he can't leave the holo room, how come the Doctor is at this fashion show?" Clara asked.

They reached their destination, a large building with glass spires, and Rose parked the car and turned off the engine.

"You'll see," she promised, and then she got out of the car and so did the Doctor and Clara.

* * *

They were led down to the front by security, and as the last of the models lined up at the back as the show finished, _The Doctor_ was announced, and as Rose stood up and love shone in her eyes and she applauded, Clara and the Doctor stared at the sight of the man who walked down the runway to take credit for his latest designs.

It was the Tenth Doctor, from his dark spiky hair to his pinstripe suit and long coat... He smiled and thanked then audience three times before the applause died down, and then he began to speak:

"It's been quite a journey for me...eighteen years ago I stepped on to this runway as a model. But I always knew one day I'd be the one running the show with my own designs. The last five years have seen JJ Smith become the fastest selling brand in mens wear and I'm immensely proud of that."

Then he paused, and his dark eyes clouded with emotion.

"I'd like to dedicate this show most of all to the person who has encouraged me, inspired me with their gift of style and flair and their never ending belief in me – my late father, the _real_ Doctor."

And the Doctor and Clara exchanged a shocked glance...this guy was the Tenth Doctor's son?

"And of course, I'm thanking you too, mum," he said fondly, looking down into the audience at Rose.

She turned to the Doctor and Clara as her eyes shone with pride.

"That's my JJ," she said, "That's my boy!"

And the Doctor and Clara exchanged another glance, as the Doctor now understood what he had seen as his eleventh self had walked out of Rose's life:

It was her _son,_ her grown up son, who looked just like his Tenth self...

"Unbelievable," the Doctor said as he looked at JJ Smith, aka The Doctor, fashion designer, "He looks just like him!"

* * *

The journey back home with Rose was strange for the Doctor and Clara.

"...So then my dad built me a device to work for me - capable of generating designs for many seasons to come. He did it with a bit of TimeLord know how," he was saying as he looked back at them, and the Doctor stared at him, looking at a man who was a perfect double of his Tenth self.

"Your father did this before or after he died?"

"Before. Now he can only interact through the DVDs in the study, or for mum in the holo room, where he's three dimensional. But I wouldn't know what goes on in there when _that_ door is closed, of course."

Rose giggled and continued to watch the road as she drove home.

The Doctor thought for a moment.

"So I – I mean _he_ , my Tenth self, removed certain elements of his consciousness linked only to that lifetime and put it into the system?"

His son smiled and looked just like his dad.

"That's right, why?"

The Doctor's eyes clouded with worry.

"So there is a part of _me_ inside the machinery? I left a part of myself behind on this planet?"

JJ stopped smiling.

"Only a small part, and that part belongs to mum – and to me, I talk to him a lot through the interactive programs."

"Why are you talking like it's such a bad thing?" Clara asked the Doctor.

"I'm not. I'm just thinking back, I have very little memory at all of regenerating into my Eleventh life. And that life was a world away from memories of Rose. Those really kicked back in when I started my new set of regenerations."

"There you go, then," said the Doctor's son, "No harm done. The regenerative power must have restored you. So the bit of my dad that lives in the programming is something you won't miss any more. "

Then they turned into the street and drove up it, and Rose parked the car in the driveway and shut off the engine. She got out of the car, and as the Doctor and Clara got out, Clara glanced at the Tenth Doctor's son.

"JJ," she said,"What's that stand for?"

He looked into her eyes and smiled and Clara couldn't help smiling back.

"James John Smith," he replied, "Half human, half TimeLord and the image of my old man. I even dress like him. I take inspiration from him when I make my designs too. I'm very much a part of the Doctor, hence my nickname. Only I'm not a Lord of Time, just a lord of the runway."

Rose unlocked the door and then she laughed.

"And I'm _still_ the perfume girl!"

"Mum's been the face of designer label perfume for forty years!" JJ exclaimed, "She's still got the job because she doesn't age."

And then Rose led them into a light painted hallway and closed the door.

"I'd like to speak to...what remains of my old life," the Doctor said.

"Sure," Rose replied, "Door at the end of the hall. Just turn the screen on and select option one."

"And then what?"

Rose gave a sigh.

"Come with me, I'll show you what to do."

And the two of them walked off, leaving Clara and JJ standing together in the hallway.

"Are you okay?" he asked, and Clara looked into his eyes, and now she had got over how much he looked like his father, something _else_ occurred to her:

Maybe she never would have noticed it if she had not remembered the altered time line and the Doctor's fling with Donna...but it had just occurred to her that JJ was a _very_ handsome man...

"I will be," she replied, "But the choices your father made altering his time line affected much in the rest of the time line - not in a disastrous way, I mean, no one died...but in the new time line, the man I love doesn't love me as much as I thought he did."

"Come through to the front room, tell me all about it."

"That might be a good idea," she replied as she followed him through to a luxurious room where sunlight poured in through wide windows, "I need to talk to someone who will listen."

And she sat down on a white sofa and he sat beside her.

"I'm listening," he said, and then he smiled and she did too, and again Clara tried _not_ to think too much about how attractive he was...

* * *

The Doctor had sat down in front of a screen in the study. Rose hit option one and then spoke aloud:

"Doctor? It's Rose. Your other self is here...Twelve. He wants to talk to you."

And then the Tenth Doctor was on the other side of the screen, as if they were having a conversation in real life.

"Hello!" he said brightly, and then he looked to Rose,"Run seven seven four two, then I can explain best how this thing works."

She reached for a vast collection of discs in containers that lined the other wall.

"Okay love," she replied.

The Doctor looked to his former self and then to Rose and shook his head.

"I find this a bit strange. I never thought a version of me would fight so much against the inevitability of death and regeneration."

"I didn't fight anything," the Tenth Doctor replied, "I fully expected to die - one day. _But then I had a family, and my opinion changed_."

The Doctor nodded.

"I can understand that. And thanks to the TimeLords giving me a new set of regenerations, I don't miss the part you _ripped out_ to keep alive here and in the holo room."

The Tenth Doctor's dark eyes widened.

"I haven't broken any laws, not of space or time - in fact there's a clause in section six of the protection of species act that gives permission for multi life time individuals to make provision for part of a previous life to be preserved when transformation occurs. Another part of that paper also allows for more than one marriage in differing time zones- meaning _we_ are not a bigamist any more, regardless of place, time, persona and choice of spouse."

The Doctor smiled.

"I'm not accusing you of anything," he assured him, "I was just intrigued as to why you went so far to ensure a part of you lived on."

"I did it for Rose and my son," he replied honestly, and as Rose slipped in the disc she smiled at her husband's image on the screen.

"Don't waste too much energy talking here - I need you in the holo room."

"I might be able to manage three to four three dimensional hours tonight," he said as he smiled and his eyes lit up seductively.

Rose smiled back at him.

"I''ll have an early night, then," she told him, "I might even go to bed around five!"

"I'll be there," he promised her with a wink, and from the screen his eyes lingered on Rose until she had left the room, and then he turned back to the Doctor.

"Specifications coming up," he said, and the details showed up, traced in purple, leaving the Tenth Doctor behind them in the background. The Doctor looked at the screen, and then surprise registered in his eyes..

"You really did put a lot of work into this system! And its partly _organic_?"

The Tenth Doctor put a finger on the screen, sliding down the design specifics.

"Yes," he said, "The holo program also contains a small amount of my DNA - heavily filtered to remove all trace of radiation, and that enables the three dimensional _me_ to be warm to the touch. I have to be. Rose wouldn't want to go to bed with me feeling as cold as ..."

" _Death?"_ the Doctor suggested, and his other self nodded as his expression grew serious.

"So," he said," What brings you here? And I'll have to put you on part screen interaction now, because I'm saving my energy for the holo room."

And then three choices came up on the screen:

 _1) I have a problem and need your help_

 _2) I am catching up on what happened after you left Earth with Rose_

 _3) I do not understand the process that has kept a part of you alive, can you please explain to me again._

The Doctor gave a sigh and pressed choice number one.

The Tenth Doctor looked at him in surprise.

"What do you want _my_ help for? Technically, I'm a legacy machine. Technically, I'm dead – well, half dead. And technically, my purpose is to provide support and comfort for my family, especially the kind of comfort Rose needs from my 3D holoform when she gets horny -"

"I just want to know why I'm still getting affected by the changes you made. I would have thought anything omitted would have been left out after my Eleventh life went back on track."

The Tenth Doctor paused for thought.

"All I can say to that," he replied, "It that time is like a wibbly wobbly ball of timey -"

"I've heard it before. In fact, in your lifetime, I _said_ it before! You don't have the answer, okay."

"Well give me a minute, I might think of something else!"

"I already have," the Doctor told him, "You were supposed to meet Donna Noble in your Tenth life. You didn't because you left with Rose. I met her instead, I had a fling with her and now Clara hates me for it!"

The Tenth Doctor's dark eyes registered surprise.

"Well I can't comment on your personal choices in life. I'm always basically the same man no matter what face I have. Maybe Clara wasn't right for you at the time – I'm sure you had your reasons."

"But it didn't happen in the other version of events."

"I'm so very sorry," he said to him, "But I managed to do this for myself without any planets exploding or the universe turning inside out and if the only bad thing to come of this is you and a quarrel with Clara over another woman, it's not my concern. It's yours. I'm sorry, I can't offer you any help with that. All I can say is, be with the person you love. If it's not Clara maybe you should go and find this Donna you keep talking about...you must have thought a lot of her, or it never would have happened in the first place. By the way, what's wrong between you and Clara? Why were you so distant that you looked elsewhere in the first place?"

The Doctor gave a heavy sigh.

"I wish I'd never started this...Her temper. It's worse in this time line than it was in the other, I've remembered it all. I've lost count of the times she's slapped my face."

"Well I can recall a few slaps in my time," the Tenth Doctor replied, "Some deserved, some not so."

"But she gets _really_ angry." he admitted, "It had got a bit much for me. That's when I fell for Donna. I do love Clara, but I can only take so much. And I wouldn't be admitting this to you if you were not a mere legacy machine."

The Tenth Doctor looked at him thoughtfully.

"I can't tell you what to do. I'm not in your lifetime, I'm not living through it with you. That part of me is in the programming that keeps _this_ part of me alive. I know I've been happy with Rose. So happy I went to this extreme to make sure I could be with her after my physical death."

"I know that, but what are you trying to tell me?"

"That not everyone is as well matched as me and Rose," the Tenth Doctor looked intently through the screen, his dark eyes meeting the Twelfth Doctor's gaze of pale blue.

" _Choose wisely,"_ he added, _"Because it's about your happiness and the rest of your life. Don't screw it up."_

Then a timer flashed and he spoke again.

"I'm off to the holo room at five. I can't use up any more power today. Speak again soon - maybe."

"Maybe," the Doctor replied, and then the screen went dark, and the Doctor was left alone in the study, where he sat in silence, thinking about all his former self had just said – he was right, he certainly did have some choices to make, and for his own sake, they had to be the right ones...


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Rose was in the kitchen. The Doctor stood in the doorway, watching as she put the kettle on.

"You still like tea, right?" she asked, and glanced at him.

"Coffee," he replied.

"Of course, you've changed...again."

As she looked away he wondered if she had for a moment, compared him to his Tenth self, and he wondered if she had, what had she felt as she looked at this older man with greying hair? He knew he was considered attractive for his age, and he had always felt confident with it – but with Rose? No, with Rose he felt insecure, because she was still with his Tenth self, even after his physical death. That was an admirable bond of love, and one that he envied.

"I may have changed my face but I'm still the Doctor. Still have two hearts."

She looked around at him again, and the expression in her eyes changed.

" _You wouldn't..."_

"Wouldn't what?" he asked.

"Try and chat me up?"

That had sounded like an accusation, and it stung more than he cared to show. Yes, Rose had just made the situation _very_ clear, and it wasn't about to change any time soon... He laughed, and hoped because she didn't know his Twelfth self very well, she wouldn't see through his poor job of hiding the truth.

" _Of course not!"_

"Good," she replied as she made the coffee, "Because as far as I'm concerned, I'm still a married woman. And even if the legacy machine broke down tomorrow - which it won't – I really wouldn't want anyone else. No one can ever compare to my Doctor, my husband."

"I know that," he replied, "And I'd better go and find Clara, I left her with your son. I suppose we should get going soon - I wanted to stay around for a couple of days -"

"You don't have to do that."

"Do you want me to leave?"

Rose smiled.

"You and Clara can have the spare room tonight. I'd like you to stay on for a bit. I know the Doctor would approve."

"Thanks," he replied, and then he turned away and went back down the hallway in search of Clara.

* * *

As he neared the front room the Doctor stopped just out of sight, watching through the crack in the part closed door as Clara and JJ sat on the sofa talking.

"So why don't you two get along?" JJ asked her, and as the Doctor noticed the way the double of his Tenth self looked into her eyes and the way Clara looked back at him, he felt a prickle of jealousy.

Clara made herself more comfortable on the sofa, leaning against the softness of it as she replied in a low voice.

"I don't know...I suppose it's me...he brings out my temper sometimes. I don't think it did as much in the other time line but in this one its a bit more amplified. I just get so frustrated with him. He doesn't hold me enough, he makes me feel like he can take me or leave me. Doesn't even like to embrace me. I don't understand why he's so distant sometimes."

"I certainly wouldn't be distant with a beautiful woman like you," JJ replied.

And behind the door, the Doctor's anger simmered as a missing piece fell into place:

All those times he had shied away from affection,forced himself to hold her, to put up with her embraces instead of welcoming them...It was a consequence of something that had happened before his regeneration:

 _It was a consequence of two lifetimes ago,when his Tenth self had ripped out certain memories and traits to preserve after death..._

He was still feeling the effects two lifetimes later, while his late self enjoyed intimacy and closeness and touching and embracing, he had to struggle with it, because his own regenerative cells were still healing from what had been taken out...

Then as he thought of Donna his anger faded, and it was replaced by curiosity as he wondered why his experiences with Donna Noble had been the exception. She had some kind of method of breaking down his walls, clearing the barriers away, and he wasn't sure why...

Then he saw JJ shift closer as Clara did the same, and as their eyes locked he decided it was time to break the moment.

" _Rose has offered us a room for the night, Clara."_

They shifted apart as he walked into the room.

"I've got stuff to do," JJ said, and smiled at Clara, "I'll be back in a minute."

"See you," she replied, and he left the room as the Doctor cast him a frosty glance that he chose to ignore.

"Was I interrupting something?"

"No, what's the matter with you?"

The Doctor gave a heavy sigh.

"Finding out one of my previous selves chose to _rip out_ parts of my emotion centre like it was a spare part does bother me just a little bit," he replied in a low voice, and then as Rose joined them he dropped the subject.

* * *

For a moment no one spoke, and then it was Rose who broke the silence.

"What?" she asked as she set the coffee on the table, "Did I miss something?"

She knew she had, the Doctor was sure of it because he knew Rose missed nothing...

He sat down beside Clara and sipped the coffee and set it down on the table again.

"Actually you did. I was just saying to Clara that the way my other self ripped out certain parts of his mind and kept it for himself was a potentially dangerous thing to do."

Rose sat down on an armchair by the fireplace and looked at him thoughtfully.

"No, it's _not_ harmful! Regeneration replaces ever part of the body cell by cell. If cells are missing, it simply creates new ones. Sometimes it can take a couple of regenerations down the line to reset everything properly but it shouldn't have a negative effect on the new regeneration."

"And since when did you become an expert on these things, since your husband told you _exactly_ how to respond to that question?"

Rose tensed.

"I've watched him building and working on that machine for over twenty years! I know a lot about it. I don't get why you're so concerned – you're okay, there's nothing wrong with you. Nothing missing."

"I believe what he did affected my emotional responses."

"You're wrong," Rose replied, "If you don't believe me, _ask_ him tomorrow."

"Why not today? I thought you said you were going to meet up with him in the holo room?"

"That room is my bedroom and only certain programs run in there! He won't like it."

The Doctor looked at her intently as he began to think about all he was hearing. The more he heard, the more he got the feeling something else was going on here, but he couldn't figure out what...

" _He won't like it?_ I thought he said he ripped out all he needed purely for emotional and sexual closeness with you. And there must have been a dose of his personality in there too to make the hologram believable, and the interactive system. But Rose, if he has his own opinions he took out considerably more than a few elements to run the legacy machine. What's going on?"

Her eyes clouded with confusion. Late afternoon sunlight was streaming into the room, its rays catching on her golden hair making it shine and for a moment it was too easy to forget Clara was beside him as he sat there looking at her, wishing he could lift that pained look from her eyes as she shook her head.

"I don't know what you mean," Rose replied, "And you have no idea what I've been through, or what my son has been through!"

" _Our_ son," he corrected her, "I'm still the Doctor, one man, many faces, I'm as much JJ's father as your Doctor is."

Clara felt a spike of alarm run through her as she shot him an angry look. But he didn't even notice, he was still looking at Rose.

"No you're not," she told him bluntly, "My _husband_ is my son's father. I don't care what you or any other version of _you_ says about it – he looks just like him, too. We were a family - and we still are."

Then JJ walked into the room, he had changed out of clothes that much resembled his father's and now wore pale jeans and a t shirt that, judging by the patterns on it, was one of his own designs, and over that he wore a leather jacket.

"I was just heading over to my place," he said, "I was wondering if you would like to come with me?"

The Doctor shook his head.

"I'm busy right now."

 _"I'd love to!"_

Clara smiled warmly at JJ as she got up, and the Doctor silently worried as their eyes met and JJ smiled back at her. Then he looked to Rose.

"I'll be back later, Mum."

"Okay, see you later, son." she replied, and then Clara left with JJ Smith, the handsome and successful fashion designer, son of his Tenth self, and he felt sure he had a reason to worry _very_ much about what would happen between him and Clara, because there was a spark between those two, he was sure of it...

But now they were gone, the front door had closed, and then the roar of an engine sounded as a car started up.

Clara was leaving, and he had to get on with it and worry later...

* * *

The Doctor focused on Rose as he drank his coffee.

"I thought JJ lived with you?"

"He spends more time here than he does at his own place - he's got a big mansion in the hills. The kind of place you would expect a man with his success to live, he's had two marriages, both ended in divorce, several girlfriends in between and none of them have been right for him, I often say it's because we're not from this planet, we just settled here. He would be happy with someone who was less superficial. The girls round here, they all look and act like Barbie dolls."

And the Doctor thought again of Clara and _really_ started to worry...

"Is there anything else you want to know?" Rose asked.

"I want to talk to your husband about how he worked out the transfer into the machine. I need to hear it from him that he only took out what was necessary. This worries me, Rose."

"I don't see why."

The Doctor looked hard at her.

"But you should. Because you said something to me that I wasn't expecting. You said he wouldn't be happy about me going into the holo room."

"Of course he won't, that's our private place."

The Doctor thought about all he was uncovering. And the more he thought about it, the more shocked he felt.

"He shouldn't be able to object to a non planned scenario. Do you want to know what I think he's done?"

Rose ran her fingers through her fair hair, glancing to the window as she muttered a reply.

"No, but I'm sure you're gonna tell me..."

And she looked back at him, right into his eyes, ready to come back at him with a sensible but clearly defensive reply to what ever came next.

"Rose," he said, "I think he ripped out the _whole_ of his mind, everything he could possibly take from his Tenth lifetime – like stripping an old car for spares. I think he left a back up copy of his memories for reference and mentally ripped himself out of a dying body and split the energy between the interactive screen and the three dimensional hologram. It's a lot of work even for a TimeLord but I get the idea. Did he do that?"

"It's not illegal -"

The Doctor shook his head, "Oh _stop it_ , Rose! I can see he's trained you well, you know _exactly_ what to say when challenged. I know it isn't illegal, but I just want to know what he plans to do with his... _ghost,_ I might as well call it that. "

"Nothing, he's in the machine. And he said when his body regenerated his mind would be instantly repaired, nothing missing. And the memory copy would be enough for other lifetimes to refer back to when needed."

The Doctor looked at her thoughtfully for a moment.

"I remember how much I wanted to carry on living when I was him. I really didn't want to die. And I can imagine how he felt not wanting to leave you and his son. I'm not criticising him, Rose. I'd just like to know the whole story."

Rose got up from her seat.

"Fine," she replied, "Come with me, you can talk to him. But make it brief. I want my time with him tonight."

"I promise I won't steal that time from you," he told her, and they left the room together, and then Rose led him up the stairs, heading for her bedroom, the only room in the house where her dead lover could become three dimensional...

* * *

" _Are you impressed?"_

As JJ asked Clara that question, she stopped walking through the vast gardens behind the mansion belonging to the Doctor's son and leant against a fountain where water ran clear from the mouth of an ornamental fish.

"I'm very impressed. This is what your designs have bought you?"

He smiled.

"It's a nice place, but right now I need to spend my time at home with mum. She went through a lot after she lost dad."

"But she hasn't exactly _lost_ him.."

Sadness clouded his eyes.

"She lost the _living_ part of him. And she still cries over the fact that she was the one who activated the device that ripped out his mind. He asked her to do it when he knew he didn't have much time left. The neutralising chamber worked for almost forty years and when it stopped working he knew it was time. He said she was the best person to do it because she'd seen him regenerate before and she would be able to cope with it, but she couldn't. She feels like killed him. I know she didn't, but you can't tell her that. But she'll understand one day, dad knew _exactly_ what he was doing."

"Why will she understand?" Clara asked him.

He stepped closer and looked into her eyes.

"Let's forget about my parents and talk about you. I'm fascinated by you, Clara. You're not like the women on this planet, you're real, you're not fake. I like that."

"Are you coming on to me?" she said, looking at him calmly as she tried to ignore the ache between her legs that was making her feel weak.

He leant closer, pinning her against the fountain.

" _No one would ever know."_

His breath was warm against her throat and his hand had slid up her skirt, then along her thigh as he gently parted her legs while his other hand tugged at his zip.

"You've got a nerve -"

"Don't," he said, laughing softly, "I'm JJ Smith. I've been there done it all and seen it all and I _know_ you want me as much as I want you. So what now, shall I let go of you and then you can slap my face, or shall we be honest with each other?"

She felt locked in his dark gaze, and all trace of anger slipped away as she felt her defences come tumbling down. She wished the Doctor could be more like this, but JJ was unlike any man she had ever known before...

She answered with the hungry look in her eyes, and then she gave a gasp and clung to him as her back scraped against the edge of the fountain and she ran her fingers though his hair, impatiently welcoming his kiss. Then as he thrust into her, he was breathless as he whispered in her ear:

" _If you were mine Clara, I'd never stop holding you, I'd never let go of you. I'd love you forever and make sure that you knew it, too..."_

* * *

Rose had led the Doctor upstairs, and as she opened the bedroom door he looked around at the pale walls and the four poster bed with a lace canopy, and saw the mirrored wardrobes...this was a romantic bedroom. At least, it seemed that way until he saw the chamber on the other side of the room, mounted on a metallic base and looking like a transparent coffin.

"Is that the neutralising chamber he used to use?"

"Yes," she replied, "Why?"

"And you never threw it out? You should have done, because when the treatment started to fail it would have been contaminated with radiation -"

 _"He stopped using it."_

The Doctor looked at Rose.

Although she looked like the girl he recalled from his Ninth and Tenth lives, of course, much had happened since. And it had just crossed his mind that standing here now, in his Twelfth incarnation, it really would be _very_ naive of him to think he still knew her as well as he used to...

"Why did you keep it?" he asked quietly.

" _He kept it."_

She was lying badly. He could see it in her eyes...

"What for?"

She shook her head.

"No idea."

The Doctor stepped closer, looking down at the woman who had not aged and most likely never would. Yes, she still looked young, but in her eyes, he saw a different story:

 _He saw the pain of her grief, the pain of being forced to part with the man she had loved for forty years, the father of her child... Such loss was there, but also something else, a desperate spark of hope..._

"I know how much the legacy device means to both of you," he said, "But I get the feeling something _else_ is going on here."

"And I don't know what you're talking about. I really don't."

There was a low electrical hum and the Doctor turned to see the three dimensional image of his Tenth self standing beside the chamber. He looked at him intently and then spoke in a low voice.

"Go to the study," he said, "We can talk there. And make it brief, I need to conserve power."

Then the hum sounded again, and he was gone.

The Doctor was still staring at the spot where his other self had just stood, solid as life.

"You'd better take his advice," Rose said quietly, "Because I've told you all I know."

"I'll do that," the Doctor replied, and then as Rose left the room he followed her out, pausing to glance back at the chamber on the other side of the room.

It was still bothering him, why that chamber was still in the house after all this time. It was still bothering him as he went down the stairs with Rose and then walked up the hallway towards the study.

The answer was there at the back of his mind, but he was yet to find it, even though he felt as if he ought to already know what the answer was...

He certainly had plenty of questions for his former self, and he wasn't afraid to ask them in front of Rose, because a picture was forming in his mind and he hoped that he was wrong:

 _A dying TimeLord, desperate to survive, might have made some very irrational decisions, and Rose and his son, keen to help him out, would have listened, would have done anything to help him..._

 _But what if he had gone too far?_

 _What if his desperation to survive had actually made for a potentially dangerous outcome?_

He hoped he was wrong, but the only way to find out would be to ask – and this time, when spoke to his former self he wasn't going to be careful or sensitive about his words, because he needed to know the truth...


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"I will keep this brief because I'm conserving power. What do you want to know?"

As he spoke, the Tenth Doctor's image on the screen looked tense. It was at that moment the Doctor knew the truth:

Yes, his former self certainly was _very_ much preserved inside the legacy machine...

The Doctor sat comfortably at the desk and looked at the screen.

"The chamber. Why did you keep it?"

"My own reasons. None that will make the universe collapse."

Rose gave a sigh as she stood at the Doctor's side.

"I _told_ you so..."

Then the Tenth Doctor looked to Rose.

"I'm sorry Rose, but could you leave the room for a moment? I want to show my current self exactly how the transfer took place," and the look in his dark eyes softened, "I don't think it would be good for you to see that again."

Rose nodded.

"Okay, I'll be outside."

Then she left the study and closed the door behind her.

* * *

The Doctor looked at the screen in surprise.

"I don't recall her being so willing to walk away at a moment like this."

"She was traumatised by my transfer. I didn't think she would be as she'd already seen me regenerate once before, but this was different, it wasn't instant - my body didn't die for a couple of weeks afterwards and she blamed herself...I've tried making her listen to my grief counselling programs I put in place for her, but it doesn't work because she doesn't pay attention."

The Doctor shook his head.

"You asked her to effectively end your physical life. How was she supposed to react?"

He thought about it.

"With a bit more common sense than she did, that was what I was hoping for," he replied honestly, "But it didn't work out that way. That's why I don't want her to see _this_. Just watch and you'll get it but please, when you do, _don't_ explain it to her. My son knows. _Only_ my son. Rose is too easily upset right now to see the bigger picture."

"I _knew_ there was more," the Doctor replied.

Desperation shone in the eyes of his former self.

"Please, give me your word you won't tell her when you work it out. I've done nothing to put the universe in danger, I've done nothing to further affect the time line. _Promise me_."

The Doctor nodded.

"Okay, you have my word. Now show me exactly what happened."

The screen switched to a playback of the Tenth Doctor's final moments before the machine was activated.

The Doctor watched, knowing this would be his only window of insight into how he actually died in his Tenth life in this altered time line, because his memory of the changed events were wiped clean:

The Tenth Doctor was lying in bed, he was sweating and shivering and as he looked on, the Doctor could only imagine the level of pain he must have been in by then, when the radiation had taken over – and he was suddenly glad he had no physical memory of it. Then he watched as the Doctor's son stood at his bedside, spoke to his father and briefly touched his hand before stepping back.

Suddenly the camera had moved in close on the image of the Tenth Doctor, and he began to speak.

"Keep the camera on me, son...just for a minute... " then he gave a gasp as pain ran through his body, and he struggled to focus on the camera once more:

"Rose, this is a message for you... I want you to know this isn't the end. And one day, you'll understand why I went through all of this... It's part of a bigger plan. It's a safe plan, it's easy too but it takes time. The legacy machine is the back up system. It's Plan B because Plan A isn't possible yet and I need something to rely on if Plan A goes wrong. One day this will make sense. It will all make sense, even the state of me and why I went through all the pain when it seemed like it was too late. It _will_ make sense one day. JJ, switch to a second recording, keep this one locked up for now, okay?"

Then the screen went to static and cleared again and now the Doctor saw Rose leaning over his former self, she was weeping as she kissed his cheek, and she said more than once that she didn't want to say goodbye to him, that she didn't want to activate the machine.

"Just do it, get it over with, end my pain, Rose," he whispered, and she had run her hand over his hair, careful not to disturb wires attached to him that ran to the machine next to the bed.

"I don't want to let you go!" she wept.

"If you love me, you'll do it," he said as he drew in a sharp breath and fought against another wave of pain, "Do it Rose, do it for me...do it for us."

And Rose gave a sob and looked to the machinery and then to the Doctor, who met her tearful gaze with determination burning in his eyes.

" _Do it,"_ he whispered.

Rose flipped the switch.

His body jerked violently as a surge of current ran through the wiring, and then there was a loud cracking sound, and the Doctor's body fell still as blood ran from his nose. His eyes were closed, he was still breathing, but he was gone...

JJ put his arms around his mother and Rose sobbed in his arms, and then the recording ended.

As the static cleared away, replaced by the Tenth Doctor's image, he looked through the screen at his Twelfth self.

"Do you get it now, did you see?"

The Doctor looked at him, saying nothing as he did indeed understand...

"You were covered in puncture wounds..."

"Every organ, every part of me... _you know_ why. _You've worked it out._ "

The Doctor was still thinking about how revealing that recording had proved to be. Yes, his Tenth self really did love Rose. He had loved her so much he had found a way to leave a copy of his memories behind, rip out what was left of his Tenth persona and...

 _He got it._

 _He understood now._

 _Rose didn't know yet, but his son did..._

"I think..." the Doctor paused, looking away as he blinked away tears, then he looked back at the screen.

"I get it now. From one TimeLord to another, yes, I _do_ get what you're up to. And it's going to take some explaining when the time comes -"

"There's a pre made recording to be played to Rose when the machine stops working."

"Make sure your son is with her when she finds out...I can see that girl fainting!"

The Tenth Doctor's eyes clouded with sadness.

"I can't tell her the truth. Not yet. Not until it's over."

"When will that be?" the Doctor asked him, and then he sat and listened to a plan that had taken a very long time to set in place, and as he continued to speak, he understood absolutely now, and looked to the screen as he thought just how much he admired his former self for having so much determination to ultimately do what he had always wanted to do:

 _Stay instead of leave..._

* * *

JJ's kisses burned her flesh with passion even as Clara's heart weighed heavy with guilt. But she didn't tell him to stop, just like she had not told him to stop when he had taken her hard and fast up against the fountain.

Now she was in his bed, the two of them wrapped in silken sheets as he got his breath back and kissed her a final time and then lay beside her.

"You're amazing!" he exclaimed as he turned on to his back, still trying to catch his breath.

Clara looked into his eyes and felt a rush of love so sudden and deep it made recovering from their lovemaking twice as difficult as she drew in a sharp breath and knew in an instant that this was something that mattered to both of them - it wasn't a love affair she could easily forget. The thought of forgetting him was unthinkable...

"I know you're with the Doctor," JJ said, "And I know that soon you'll go back with him to his Tardis and then you will leave and I won't see you again, and I don't want that to happen, Clara. I want you to stay here with me, but I'm telling you now, in advance, I _know_ you can't stay."

She turned on her side and ran her hand over his chest.

"I could if I wanted to."

"That wouldn't be fair on the Doctor. Even though he's not the same Doctor who fathered me, I still feel a sense of loyalty to him and I feel bad about trying to steal his girl. In fact I'm probably deserving of a smack in the face for it. I can't be with you. I can't do this to him. It would be wrong."

Sadness reflected in Clara's eyes as she shook her head.

"No," she told him, "Me and the Doctor, we haven't been getting along for a while. The changes to the time line pushed us apart, he's cheated on me...I keep thinking its going to magically snap back the way it used to be but it can't. The time line has changed and it's changed us with it."

"I don't want to hurt anyone," JJ replied, "I never want to do anything like that, I know I come across as the big famous designer, main man of the runway and all that – but I am basically a decent bloke. I'm a good man like my father, I promise you, I really am."

Clara smiled fondly.

"Like your father and like the man _I_ know as the Doctor, you're very much the Doctor's son. He tries to be a good man too. I think he always has..."

Then Clara broke away from her lover's gaze, frowning as her hand ran over a break in his flawless skin, and as she looked at his chest and saw the scar that ran down its centre, she guessed she had not noticed it until now because she had been so swept away by passion.

"What happened?" she asked.

"The scar?" JJ replied, "I'm half human, half TimeLord. I was born with two hearts but only the human one worked. The other one was a TimeLord heart, but it just sat there like a spare part, it wasn't even beating, it was literally like a part I didn't really need. I had it taken out six months ago."

Clara's eyes widened.

"Seriously? You had one of your _hearts_ removed?"

He laughed softly.

"I didn't need it. My human heart functions perfectly well. So I decided to donate the other one."

Clara was sure at that moment she had fallen even more in love with JJ Smith.

"You just gave up an organ in case someone needed it? That's so unselfish!"

"It was in storage for six months inside a machine that got it beating again. The heart is a muscle that had never been used so it had to get a few months of regular working order to make it strong enough before the recipient could take it."

"You're amazing," Clara said again, "Donating a spare heart to..."

She stopped right there, her jaw dropped as she sat up and looked at JJ.

"No!"

He sat up in bed too and smiled.

" _Oh yes,Clara. Yes indeed."_

Now she was sure she was falling for him even more, if that could be possible...

"You and him - your father...you're just as smart as he is!"

"If you say so. It was my dad's plan. It was _always_ the eventual plan."

"So, does Rose -"

"Mum doesn't know," he told her, "Not yet."

Clara's eyes shone with surprise.

"Your spare heart would only be compatible with a TimeLord. It's really for your father?"

"It always was," he replied, "This planet isn't just known for its excellence in surgical procedures - its also known for its advances in the cloning of human bodies. Before he ripped out his personality and a copy of his memories, when he knew the end was coming, he had tissue samples taken from every part of his body, every single organ... he did it so that after he lost his own body to regeneration, what was left of his Tenth lifetime, the awareness, could be put back into a clone of his old body. But the body takes a long time to develop and perfect and they couldn't clone his heart. So I gave him my spare. It's been inside his new body for six weeks now. The body is breathing and everything is functioning. All he needs now is to shift his awareness out from the machine and into the new brain."

Clara thought for a moment.

"So he's going to have a human body?"

"A body just like his old one, same face, same body...but he won't be a proper TimeLord any more. He'll have his awareness and everything that made him the man I call my father, but his body will be human - with some TimeLord DNA. He will have one heart and one lifetime and he will live for a very long time, probably as long as mum - but he won't be able to regenerate."

"He's going to have his life back," Clara said, still turning over all he had told her as she looked at JJ in surprise, "But he won't be a TimeLord any more, won't have a Tardis or any of that - no travelling through time -"

"No," he replied, "But he will get to live his life with me and mum. We get to be a family again."

"Why didn't you tell Clara?"

JJ's eyes clouded with sadness.

"Mum took it hard when she transferred him into the machine. She felt like she killed him. She still does. She can't take any more. No matter what you might have heard about Rose Tyler, Mrs Rose Tyler-Smith loves my dad so much she's only holding on because a part of him is in the legacy machine. If she knew he was planing to do something like this, she would be afraid of losing the rest of him. It's a dangerous procedure, there's a lot that can go wrong."

"But it won't," Clara said, wishing her words really could bring him the reassurance he needed, "Look what he's done to keep going, how far he's gone to keep a part of himself alive. He won't give up now. He's a fighter."

JJ pulled her closer and held her tightly.

"I know he is," he said quietly, and then Clara fell silent, thinking about the two versions of the Doctor who were on her mind for different reasons – the Tenth, because she hoped his plan would work, and the Twelfth, because she knew she was really, truly in love with JJ – and that telling him would most likely break his hearts...

* * *

The Doctor had listened as his Tenth self had explained everything as he spoke on the screen.

"So you're determined to go ahead and do this?"

"I discussed the plan with JJ many years ago, and he told me it made perfect sense that he was born with a spare heart compatible with my DNA. He says he was born to save me."

"And what do you think?"

The Tenth Doctor looked into his eyes.

"I just hope it works for the sake of my family. It's not even about me any more, it's about saving them from the pain of losing me. I have to do this – I have to come through it for Rose and my son."

"And the heart was the only part they couldn't clone?"

He nodded.

"And that heart is now beating inside my new body. My _human_ body. As soon as it's ready for the transfer, JJ''s going to pull back the energy from the machine into concentrate and take it over to the lab. This has cost millions."

"So it's a good thing you developed a program to ensure your son became a wealthy fashion designer on a planet where the latest trends are everything."

"Exactly," he replied, "Like I said, it was all planned out."

"When is this transfer likely to happen?" he asked.

"Soon," the Tenth Doctor replied, and suddenly he looked nervous, and banished it with a laugh to kill his tension.

"Thank goodness my current form is in hologram... I'm so nervous about this I don't know how I'd get through making love to Rose every night if I wasn't in the holo room! The call could come any day now...and JJ has to make an excuse to switch the machine off. I dread to think how Rose will react to that."

"Maybe I can help," the Doctor said, "I could take her off for a while - quick flight in the Tardis for old time's sake?"

And he smiled, but his Tenth self did not.

"Keep her safe and out of trouble!" he warned him.

"I promise," the Doctor replied.

"I have to go now," his other self said, "I need to save power for Rose. Thanks for your help. I'd better go, she's been waiting outside long enough."

And then the screen went dark.

The Doctor got up from his seat and went over to the door and opened it.

Rose looked at him with a puzzled expression.

"You took your time!" she exclaimed.

"That's what happens when you put two versions of _me_ in the same room together," he said fondly, "We talk a lot about old times. Rose, I have to go out - I promised I'd meet Clara back at the Tardis. I'll be back here in a little while. If I don't see you before morning, sleep well."

And he smiled, and she smiled back, and then as he walked away,she wondered why she had seen such warmth, such deep compassion in his gaze all of a sudden...

* * *

The Doctor didn't call Clara until he was out of the house and walking back down the street towards the place where he had left the Tardis.

"I need you to meet me now," he said to her, "You'll never guess what I've found out – I think I've just realised an old version of me is possibly more clever than I am!"

"Right..." Clara replied, "Okay, I'll be there really soon. JJ can drop me off."

"See you soon," the Doctor replied, and then he ended the call, his hearts feeling heavy.

As he went inside the Tardis and closed the door, it was only his link to his old self and the promise he had made him that kept him from taking off and never returning to this planet:

It was obvious Clara was hiding something from him, he felt it as much as experience told him the harsh truth simply by the hurried and edgy tone of her voice. He had expected their relationship to run into trouble because of the changes to the time line. After his fling with Donna, he had expected the day might come when Clara would find someone else and walk away forever. But now it seemed very likely that day had already come – and the only surprise that came with it was the fact that it hurt even more than he had expected it to:

 _He was losing Clara to his son from another lifetime, and there was nothing he could do to change it...He was losing her and it was hurting him, and this was the price he was paying for his part in tampering with the time line, this was a destiny it seemed he could not fight..._


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

" _You wanted to see me?"_

Clara stood there in the console room while the Doctor gave no reply, kept his back turned and checked on Tardis controls.

"Doctor?"

"Yes, I heard you. And yes, I _did_ want to see you."

He turned around, met her gaze and hoped the look in his eyes did not betray the ache he felt in his hearts:

 _Of course it had to happen one day, he had messed her about - he had betrayed her. He knew Clara never could have forgiven that, not really, no matter how dismal the state their relationship had been in at the time..._

"Has JJ mentioned his father's plans? Do you know about it?"

"I know the other Doctor planned to clone himself and now that body is ready for his awareness to be slid back in. JJ told me."

" _During pillow talk?"_

Clara's eyes showed a flash of hurt, and the Doctor did a fine job of holding back his own feelings on the matter.

"My other self told me everything," he added.

"JJ said he was born with a spare heart - the perfect heart for the Doctor's cloned human body. He says he was born to save his father."

"My Tenth self is using a human body with a trace of TimeLord DNA, adding his own memories and persona - and he left a back up copy behind before his _real_ body regenerated. I have no problem with that. He's found a way to extend his own existence with no threat to the universe or the time line. I have no objections," then he looked coldly at Clara, "But I'm _not_ happy about you and JJ."

"I never said there was anything -"

" _I can smell his cum all over you!"_

She stared at him, taken back by his outburst.

"You don't have to be so crude about it!"

The Doctor stepped closer.

"Yes, yes I _do_ , Clara. You could have told me about it, not waited for me to work it out! You didn't even shower before you left – my sense of smell is very strong and your thighs and are still damp, just like you're still leaking into your knickers from him!"

"It wasn't a one off."

"I'm sure it wasn't, too," he replied, "I just hope that this wasn't a _revenge fuck_ because going by the hormones that are clinging to you I'd say he's already in love with you."

As hurt registered in her eyes, he knew the awful truth:

Oh yes, she _did_ love him very much indeed...She loved him as much as he loved her...He changed the subject again, keen to swerve away from the pain of his aching hearts.

"I expect JJ told you the call will be coming through very soon to say the transfer can take place. It's dangerous - anything can go wrong. When the Doctor said he ripped out part of his mind, he wasn't exaggerating. It takes the same violent force to burn it back in. But he wont have any problem with the new heart – he converted the chamber up in the holo room to become an immunity conditioning bed – he'll still need to spend a few hours a day in it, but only to ensure the cloned body doesn't reject the alien heart. It's a small price to pay for a long life in a copy of his old body. I promised I'd help. I said I'd take Rose up in the Tardis while the Doctor's making the transfer. She doesn't know anything about it and she mustn't know until afterwards, she's been through too much."

"And you're doing this for your other self, or because you still love Rose Tyler?"

There was a flicker of _something_ in his pale blue eyes, and then it was gone.

"I don't love her any more, don't be ridiculous!

Then Clara's phone rang.

As she answered it she took a few places away from the console and turned her back, and it felt worse than the days when she had been dating Danny Pink – here he was again, the Doctor, waiting for Clara to make up her mind...

"Okay,"she said, "I'll let him know."

Then she turned back to the Doctor.

"JJ just got the call. His father's body is ready for the transfer to complete."

"Then I'd better do what I'm here for," he replied, "To help my other self."

And then he walked out of the Tardis and Clara followed, as she wondered if he really meant what he had just said when it was clear Rose Tyler was heavily on his mind...

* * *

Rose had been wrapped in sheets warmed by her closeness to her three dimensional lover, their bodies had been locked together as they kissed again and she slowly got her breath back, while the Doctor, who looked and felt real but was just a hologram, held her in his arms and was not remotely affected by their lovemaking, he was not out of breath, his face was not flushed and although he felt warm beside her she could not feel his breath on her body, nor hear the beat of his twin hearts.

"Do I make you happy?" he asked her.

"You know you do," she replied as they separated and he lay beside her, then Rose turned on her side and ran her fingers through hair that was so silky it felt real.

"I wish we could be together all the time," she said softly.

Then there was a brief knock on the door and as it opened, a flash of annoyance appeared on the Tenth Doctor's face as he pulled up the sheets to cover Rose, but as the Twelfth Doctor entered the room, he understood the reason for the interruption.

"JJ said the holo program has to be turned off for a while – something to do with adjusting a power flow?"

His former self looked back at him with a trace of apprehension in his eyes.

"Oh I see... then tell him to switch it off carefully."

He looked to Rose, and saw the worry that clouded her eyes.

"No, you can't turn it off. I could lose you!" she said as panic crept into her voice

"Rose - you won't lose me. This is maintenance, didn't I mention the machine needs maintenance?"

Rose shook her head, still feeling bewildered.

The Doctor shifted closer and kissed her cheek.

"I'll see you soon," he said warmly and then he was gone in a shimmer of blue light that faded out, taking with it a low hum of electrical energy, leaving her alone in bed.

She sat up, grabbing the sheets as they slipped, giving the Twelfth Doctor a brief but accidental glimpse of her breasts, and then she reached to the floor and grabbed her clothing.

" _Get out!"_ she said sharply, and the Doctor left the room to leave her to get dressed.

* * *

As he waited for Rose, the Doctor turned to JJ.

"You can extract his energy from the machine?"

The Doctor's son nodded.

"My dad taught me how to do it a long time ago. I just need you to take Mum away for a few days...a quick trip in the Tardis ought to do it – I'll call you as soon as its okay to bring her back."

"And what about me?" Clara asked "You don't need my help, do you? I could stay here with JJ -"

"I think JJ has it all planned out," the Doctor replied, "Come with me and Rose, I might need your help. I don't know how she will react if she gets suspicious."

Clara gave a sigh.

"Looks like I'm with the Doctor then."

"And maybe you should be," JJ replied, and those words gave her a jolt and she wanted to call him back, to ask him what the hell he meant by that if what they had was so special, but he was gone down the stairs now and heading for the study to begin dismantling the control section that housed his father's energy.

Rose opened the bedroom door and stepped out.

Now she was dressed again, and looked every bit the Rose Tyler the Doctor recalled from so long ago. He made a mental note that he ought to thank his other self when this was over, for the copy he had left behind of the memories of his Tenth lifetime, because right now as she flipped her blonde hair off her face and looked at him, he wanted to tell her how great she looked in those jeans. But he couldn't, not in front of Clara – not even if Clara really did have plans to stay on and be with JJ...

"You heard what he said – it's just maintenance."

His words did nothing to reassure her.

" _And that machine is all I have left of my husband!"_

Real fear shone in her eyes, and it made his twin hearts ache to see that, because there it was again, a sharp and painful reminder of what losing her Doctor had done to Rose...

"So let him get on with it. Earlier on your husband made me promise to do something for you. He said he thought you might like one more trip in the Tardis. Do you want to come with me and Clara? It won't take long."

At the mention of the Tardis she smiled as fond memories flooded her thoughts.

"I have missed the Tardis – so has the Doctor, it left with his new regeneration, he can never fly his ship again."

"Well you can come with me and tell him all about it when you get back," the Doctor replied.

"Okay," Rose said, "I'll do that, because I know how much he will love to hear about it."

"Lets go, then," the Doctor replied and as he turned for the stairs, he shot Clara a look and in that second she saw relief in his eyes, as she wondered how he would have handled the situation if things had been different and Rose had refused to leave...

* * *

As Clara entered the Tardis, she felt an ache in her heart as she thought of all the time she had spent travelling with the Doctor.

Perhaps it _had_ to come to an end eventually.

Maybe it would have ended one day even without the changes to the time line. Perhaps it was a fixed point in time either way, no matter how the time line had been tweaked – at some point, she would leave him...

 _But now wasn't the time to think about it._

As the Doctor and Rose entered the Tardis and Rose looked around, stunned by the changes to the place, the Doctor went over to the console and pulled a lever, taking off quickly before Rose had a chance to change her mind.

"What do you think?" he asked as he gestured about the place, "Like it?"

"Yes," Rose replied, looking around the vast console room, "It's not how it was in my day but I do like the improvements. Where are we going?"

"Nowhere, I'm just taking the ship for a quick trip to the stars and you will be back in back in time for tea..."

Then he turned on the heel of his polished shoes and looked at Clara.

"I think I said that to someone else once before, a _long_ time ago..."

"I don't know," Clara replied, and as she looked out at the view of the stars, the Doctor couldn't resist sliding in a remark.

" _Stop dreaming about your boyfriend."_

"What boyfriend?"asked Rose.

"Your son," the Doctor replied as he stood at the console, "Clara has been seeing JJ."

Clara briefly closed her eyes as she let out a sigh, and then she glared at the Doctor.

"You didn't have to come out with it here and now!"

"Why not?" the Doctor asked her.

"Because I haven't thrown your _affair_ with _Donna Noble_ in your face in front of guests!"

"I think you just did," he replied and Clara struggled to keep hold of simmering anger as she thought about slapping his face again, but instead she turned for the doorway that led to the Tardis corridor.

"Let me know when we get back," she said, "I'm off to get my stuff. I need to pack."

That parting shot stung more than he cared to show in front of Rose as he considered Clara's words:

 _Yes, she was leaving him,and if he wanted to change her mind, he was failing miserably so far..._

* * *

I'm sorry," Rose said quietly as she stepped closer to the older man who was a future version of her husband, even though she saw no trace of him in the tall, greying TimeLord who was the opposite of the man she knew and loved so well, "I had no idea about Clara and JJ."

"What's he like, your son?" the Doctor asked her, "Is Clara wasting her time or do you think there could be a future in it?"

"I know my son well enough to know he wouldn't be seeing her unless he felt something for her. She's perfect for him, too."

"Unfortunately for _me_ ," the Doctor added, and then he thought about the situation and shook his head.

"I recall a different time line with different events. This all came about because I told your Doctor about the future and it caused changes for me in my time line. My fault, I wasn't thinking deeply enough. There he was, injured after we got out of the void trap and all I wanted to do was help because I blamed myself... Now _I'm_ the one in trouble."

"Maybe not,"Rose replied, "Maybe it was meant to work out this way – Clara with JJ and you with someone else."

"I don't think so," he said, dismissing her remark as he wondered why Donna's face had suddenly flashed to mind.

Then Rose looked to the view of the stars, and as memories came tumbling back as the Tardis drifted in space above the planet, she blinked away tears.

"We had so much fun in the old days"

"Yes we did," he agreed, and she shot him a look that reminded him once and for all, she did _not_ see the Doctor when she looked at him – because as far as she was concerned, _the Doctor_ was his Tenth self, the man she had married...

Then his phone rang and he answered it at once, talking quietly and then listening to JJ's message.

"Thanks," he replied, "I'll see you in a while...next week."

Then he ended the call.

"What was that about?"

Rose was looking at him suspiciously and he knew the lies had to stop and he wished Clara was in the room to help out, because Rose had always been a handful and he really didn't want to break the news in a clumsy way...

He stepped closer to her and the two of them stood facing one another, framed by the view of starry space beyond the Tardis.

"Your husband kept the neutralising chamber because he converted it. The reason he did that was so that he has a sealed environment to rest in for a few hours each day to ensure his new immune system doesn't attack his heart."

Rose looked at him in confusion.

"Heart? He had two hearts. _Used_ to have two hearts, when he was alive, when he had a physical body. I don't understand any of this. What are you saying?"

The Doctor stepped closer and put his hands on her shoulders.

"Remember when he was dying and you didn't see the point in all those tissue samples he had taken? There _was_ a point to it. He was making plans for the design of a human clone of his body, with the radiation cleaned out of his DNA. Using the money made by your son and his TimeLord technologically designed program to make JJ a very wealthy man in the fashion industry, he was able to purchase a new life. A new body, same face, same everything, just human with a single heart and a hint of Gallifrey in his blood. Not a TimeLord any more, but a new life for him so he could come back to you properly."

Rose looked up at him and drew in a breath as the console room span around. The shock of what he had explained was making her light headed.

" _What?_ What are you saying, that he's not actually dead?"

The Doctor smiled.

"Remember when JJ had his spare heart taken out?"

Now Rose felt confused again.

"It was a spare part, it didn't work – he said he wanted to donate it."

"Yes, to his _father_. They couldn't clone a heart that would work with his respiratory system, but the cloning and the vast amount of human replacements that went into the body meant the heart would be perfect for him. That's how he's managed to do it. His son gave his father his spare heart. And JJ just called. The transfer from the machine to the clone body was successful. _Your husband is waking up_."

Rose drew in a shaken breath as her eyes gazed with tears.

"The Doctor's _alive_?"

"Yes, he is," he told her, "Your husband is alive. Not a TimeLord any more, but you get him back. He wanted a second chance at life and he got it, Rose. He's alive."

She drew in another breath as she blinked and tears ran down her face.

"He's really back?"

"Yes, he is," the Doctor promised, and then he caught her quickly as Rose slumped into his arms and fainted...


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

As Rose swayed on her feet and the Doctor gently shook her and said her name, she opened her eyes, and then as she remembered why she had briefly passed out, she drew in a sharp breath.

" _He's alive?"_

"Yes Rose, yes he is."

She gave a sob of sheer relief and the Doctor put his arms around her, holding her tightly even though he wasn't a hugger, because he didn't want her to pass out again and run the risk of her falling hard.

Then Clara came back into the console room, put down a packed suit case heavily and looked at him accusingly as he stood there embracing Rose.

"How could you?" she said bitterly, "Is this supposed to make me jealous, or are you trying to steal your old girlfriend back because I'm leaving?"

Her words stung, but he forced a laugh as Rose looked to her in confusion and then stepped out of the Doctor's embrace.

"I just told her the truth about my other self! She fainted!"

Clara's face flushed.

"Oh...right, sorry..."

Then she fell silent, and the Doctor spoke to Rose again.

"When we land, I'm taking you forward seven days – that gives him time to recover from the transfer and be ready to come home."

As he began to work to controls, Rose looked at him in confusion.

"Why didn't anyone tell me before? Why keep it from me?"

"Because the procedure is dangerous and could have gone wrong. And your Doctor felt you've been through enough and he wanted you to be spared the worry. He did it because he loves you, do I really need to ask if you know how much he loves you?"

Rose shook her head.

"You don't have to do that. Of course I know."

And then she thought again about the good news and tears of joy sprang to her eyes.

"A cloned body...he's a genius!"

"Of course he is, he's _me_ , remember?" the Doctor replied, "You may not see a trace of him in me, but I'm the Doctor now. I must admit, I was very impressed when I found out about the plan. Oh well, he didn't want to go, in either time line - now he doesn't have to. Are you ready to go home, Rose?"

She smiled.

"Of course I am!" she said warmly.

* * *

When the Tardis landed, the Doctor left Clara standing in the console room. He hoped that was a sign that she might change her mind and stay with him,and he wasn't about to look back over his shoulder to see if he was right about it, because Rose was very emotional and he needed to get her back inside the house to be reunited with his former self.

JJ opened the door as they walked up to it, and he smiled warmly at his mother.

"Why didn't you tell me, you should have told me, I could have handled it!" she said to her son.

"Dad didn't want you to know, he didn't want to cause you any more grief or upset," he replied.

Then Rose went inside and the Doctor followed.

Rose let her son lead her into the front room, and as she walked in she stopped, taking in a sharp breath as she saw a sight she had once thought impossible:

 _There was her husband, standing by the window, he was wearing a pinstripe suit and looked every inch the man she knew and loved as the Tenth Doctor, her husband was back, he was alive..._

He turned from the window as his dark eyes shone with love.

"Hello Rose, I'm home," he said softly, and he held out his arms and she dashed over to him, he caught her and held her tightly as she laughed and her eyes misted with tears and he blinked to clear his own vision.

"You never told me about any of this!" she exclaimed as she pulled away to look into his eyes, "You kept it from me -"

"For your own good, you've been through enough... _Oh, that's weird_..."

He paused, placing a hand on the left side of his chest, and then he laughed.

"It's beating faster since I laid eyes on you. _One heart._ That's going to take some getting used to!"

And then he kissed her and their embrace lingered, but then he let go of her and turned to his future self.

"Thanks for your help."

The Doctor smiled.

"I should get going now. Take care of yourself, and be happy."

"I will," the Tenth Doctor replied, "And you too, Doctor - _you_ be happy, too."

And he shot him a knowing look. The Doctor nodded, and then he turned away, leaving his other self and Rose to embrace again, enjoying the knowledge that they had a second chance to spend a lifetime together.

* * *

The Doctor left the house, and as he walked across the driveway to where the Tardis was waiting, his twin hearts sunk as he saw Clara's suitcase on the lawn. She had clearly been speaking in earnest to JJ, and as she looked to him once more, he saw regret and sadness in her eyes, but at the same time, he knew she had made her decision. He didn't even want to hear it, he just wanted to leave, but she turned to JJ and said something, and then walked over to join him at the Tardis door.

"Doctor," Clara said, "I'm sorry, but I'm _very_ sure about this. If I wasn't, I'd leave with you...but we both know how we feel. I didn't mean for this to happen -"

"No," he said softly, hoping a few kind words would spare him the sight of her tearful farewell, "It's right that you stay here. You and JJ belong together. It's not up to me to interfere with that – I've done enough messing with the time line, I'm not surprised this has happened."

"I'll miss you," Clara said, and she hugged him.

He stiffly brought up his arms and gave her a quick squeeze.

"Not as much as I'll miss you," he confessed, "But really, it's fine."

And then he let go of her, got into the Tardis and turned back to close the door. It was then he saw them standing together, exchanging a glance as they linked hands:

 _Not like Rose and the meta crisis Doctor, not like in the other time line. This time around, it was Clara and the other Doctor's son. Yes, this was his price for tinkering with the time line. This was another price he had to pay, the altered time line was kicking him in the teeth yet again..._

The Doctor closed the door, set the controls, and the Tardis took off, taking him far away from Clara Oswald for the last time.

* * *

As the Tardis drifted in space, the Doctor stood alone in his ship, thinking deeply. And eventually those thoughts led back to Earth, and to someone he could not forget...

And so he landed the Tardis across the street, went outside, looked across at the house as he wondered what sort of reaction he would get if he called there, and then he took a deep breath, crossed the street, went through the gate and up the path and rang the doorbell, hoping by the time she answered it, he would know what to say to Donna Noble...

Then she answered the door.

She stared at him for a moment, and then looked past him, up and down the street.

"Where's Clara? Last time she saw me she looked like she wanted to _kill_ me!"

"We broke up," he replied, "And a friend of mine, a _very_ good friend, told me to be happy, and every time I wondered how to go about that, your face kept coming to mind. "

The look in her eyes softened.

"What are you saying?"

"That maybe we should start again," he told her,"This time with no complications. How about we start right now, I'll take you for a trip in the Tardis. I told you, it's a time machine – we can be gone as long as you like and I'll bring you right back here, just after we left. Your family won't even miss you. Just give it a go, you don't have to stay around if you don't want to."

She smiled.

"That's an offer I can't refuse!" she exclaimed excitedly, and she paused to grab her bag, and then she left the house and the two of them walked back to the Tardis together.

* * *

Three Months Later :

The Doctor was walking along the promenade of an alien sea side town where the blue and purple skies were lit with bright sunshine as the sea rolled on to pale sand.

As he walked along Donna held his hand, and he felt sure he had never been happier, at least, not for several life times...

He was so happy he had thought more than once that perhaps he ought to go back and thank his former self for the good advice - but then he remembered Clara was there, and the way the time line had turned out this time, it was best to keep a distance, because for once, everything was working out.

In this time line Donna wasn't important to the universe at all - but to the Doctor's personal universe, Donna Noble was _everything_...

"Happy?" she asked him as he paused to watch the waves run to shore.

He turned and looked at her, smiled, and then replied with a kiss. Then he put his arm around her and they carried on walking, and as they walked on, he thought again how everything was different with Donna:

It had taken a while to work out why he felt so much happier with her, why she made him feel relaxed, why he could be so easily close and intimate with her, and now he knew why:

The answer had dawned on him the minute they had left together in the Tardis and she had playfully smacked his arse as he set the flight controls. At first he had been angry, then he had looked away as he hid his smile, and then as she laughed, he had laughed too.

 _That was Donna._

 _In this time line, she was perfect for him._

As they walked on as the sea rolled to shore, the Doctor kept his arm around her because it felt comfortable, and he thought about all she had said to him that morning before they had got out of bed:

" _Of course I'm right for you. I'm the girl who likes to have fun, I'm the girl who keeps it real. I make you giggle in bed - and I swallow your cum because I want to, because I like the taste of you. I can be a dirty cow or I can be the the woman who holds you and listens to all the stuff you come out with when you can't sleep and you think about your long life and your long past. But most of all, I'm the girl who makes you laugh..."_

And she was right and he knew it, too – in this altered time line, Donna _was_ the woman for him – and he knew this had to be the every best to come out of the ripples he had caused through time - because he was happy now, he was _really_ happy and he wanted it to stay that way, because for the first time since his Twelfth regeneration, he had found a reason to smile every day – and that reason was Donna Noble.

End


End file.
